Ten films that should not be on the top 1000 films of all time

 Since 2015, I have been watching and reviewing the top 1000 films of all time. In these nine years, I have watched many films that did not deserve a place on that coveted list. These are just ten examples. And yes, I'm going to get some heat for this, but such is life. This list is in no particular order but chronologically.

Sabrina (1954)

This rom-com from the Golden Age of Hollywood is living proof of how badly the Hollywood machine can backfire.

On paper, the film should have worked. It's directed by Billy Wilder. It stars Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart and William Holden, but it was so dull and predictable. There was next to no dramatic tension. it didn't help that Bogart lacked any chemistry with Holden or Hepburn. That was due to how they didn't get on behind the scenes.

Either way this was not a good film at all.

Manhattan (1979)

I've watched a few Woody Allen films in my time, but Manhattan is my least favourite. For one, it was not funny at all. For two, Woody Allen plays the same character that he always does - a neurotic Jewish man going through a middle-aged crisis. For three, the characters spend most of the film name-dropping philosophers like they're wannabe intellectuals. Finally, the central love-story was deeply uncomfortable.

It followed Woody Allen - playing a forty-two year old man in a relationship with the seventeen-year-old Tracey (Muriel Hemingway.) She was only sixteen at the time of filming.

Field of Dreams (1989)

Build it and he will come. Who? An insomniac looking to watch a film so boring it will put you to sleep? You'll be in luck with 'Field of Dreams.'

This dull film was severely lacking in tension or anything that made it remotely interesting to watch. It was so lacking in conflict that I could summarise the plot in a simple sentence: a man going through a mid-life crisis builds a baseball ring to solve his daddy issues.

The Bourne Identity (2002)

This film kicked off a whole franchise. How is a mystery to me. And its successors aren't much better either.

It follows Jason Bourne (Matt Damon,) a man with amnesia trying to rediscover his identity. It's funny that the Bourne Identity struggled to find its identity too. Is it an action-thriller? Not with its clear lack of memorable villains. Is it a romance? Not if the tepid love story was anything to go by.

The Bourne Identity? More like the Bourne Identiless to me.

Crash (2004)

Crash won the Best Picture Oscar for 2005. I have no idea how. It should have been nowhere near the Best Picture Oscar category. And it definitely should not have won. That honour should have gone to Brokeback Mountain. I said what I said.

Paul Haggis' clumsy and direction resulted in a contrived film that drastically over-simplified the race debate in the US. Thandie Newton and Terrence Rhodes' great performances were not enough to solve this car-crash of a film.

Running Scared (2006)

I'm still confused as to who thought this was one of the best thousand films of all time. A twelve-year-old boy? As it seemed to be written, filmed and edited by a twelve-year-old boy. You had filters from a 2000's Youtube video, Vera Farmilgia reduced to a sex object and ridiculously gratuitious violence. Not even the charismatic Paul Walker could save this disastrous film.

Michael Clayton (2007)

Michael Clayton isn't a bad film, but it certainly wasn't worthy of a place on this list. It was an underwhelming, under-developed affair severely lacking in heart. No wonder it was number 977 on the top 1000 films of all time. 

Tilda Swinton won an Oscar while George Clooney was nominated for one. But Michael Clayton was not worthy of Oscars, let alone a place on this list.

Despicable Me (June 2010)

How on God's green Earth did this film star a whole franchise? It has Steve Carell who does drama and comedy. But there was nothing funny or dramatic about his performance here. It was just annoying. And Hollywood writers take note: fart jokes are only funny once or twice, not a thousand bloody times.

The Town (September 2010)

Don't forget that Ben Affleck has won Oscars for both directing and writing. But he certainly did not win them for this generic, forgettable heist film.

The Town was an overly-simple boring affair that was not helped by Affleck's wooden performance in his lead role. Jeremy Renner in a supporting role was the only redeeming aspect of this tedious affair.

The Hunger Games (2012)

I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but the Hunger Games made me so irrationally angry.

Firstly, the whole film is predicated on a gaping plot chasm, let alone hole. It makes no sense that Panem - a tyrannical government punishing their citizens for rebelling by forcibly entering twelve of their people into a fight to the death. But when Katniss Everdeen breaks the rules by volunteering as tribute, what do they do? They let her compete. She's broken the rules and they still let her compete.

That coupled with two-dimensional villains and underdeveloped side characters, who have meaningless death, make for an irritating film. Not even J-Law or Woody Harrelson were enough to save this damp squib.

Come at me in those comments. I don't care. These were over-rated films that are not some of the 1000 best films of all time. Did I miss any? Let me know.

No man's land review

 Number 331 on the top 1000 films of all time is the crime thriller 'No Man's Land.'

Ben Ayles (D.B Sweeney) is a rookie cop in San Diego looking to make a name for himself. When an undercover cop is killed, police Lieutenant Vincent Bracey (Randy Quaid) suspects billionaire playboy Ted Varrick (Charlie Sheen) of the murder. Unable to prove it, he sends Ayles deep undercover to gain evidence of Varrick's guilt.

What this thriller was missing was any form or heart or anything to distinguish itself from any other crime thriller. It was very generic and under-whelming. In fairness, director Peter Werner tried adding in some heart with a romantic subplot between Ayles and Varrick's sister Ann (Lara Harris) but the two of them lacked enough chemistry to make the romance convincing. It was closer to corny than cute.

Speaking of chemistry, I'm not convinced how much chemistry Sweeney and Sheen had together. Considering how much of the film is based around their friendship, this seemed like a fatal omission. The big conflict centered on whether Ayles would go native in his efforts to extract a confession from Varrick, but I didn't care either way.

Part of this was down to Charlie Sheen. He gave a one-note, two-dimensional performance as Ted Varrick. Varrick is supposed to be a smarmy, arrogant playboy billionaire, car thief and career criminal. Sheen played this part well, but he didn't bring much else to the role. D.B Sweeney was much better as Ayles. Ayles had far more depth to his character.

But this wasn't enough to rescue a generic, banal crime drama. Even the car chases were boring. And if your car chases are boring in an action film, then you're definitely doing something wrong.

Nosferatu review

 Number 330 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 1920 silent, German expressionist horror film 'Nosferatu.'

Count Orlock (Max Shreck) has just moved into the fictional German town of Wisborg. He purchases a house from estate agent Thomas Hutter (Gustav Von Wangeheim.) However, Thomas and his wife Ellen (Greta Schroder) start to expect something more sinister is at work.

Like how Night of the Living Dead pioneered the zombie-horror genre, Nosferatu laid the groundwork for not only the vampire film, but also the horror film in general. Except, it wasn't horrific. Obviously, I'm not expecting the torture porn or excessive jump-scares that dominate modern horror, but I was expecting at least an unsettling atmosphere like you get in the Cabinet of Dr Caligari.

I thought that the atmosphere was too happy to qualify for a horror film. Happiness is fine if you can feel there is some dramatic tension building toward something, but I felt little tension. It didn't help that you had the subtitles saying "happy German music is playing."

I'm also not an expert on German expressionism, but this didn't seem very expressionistic. Unlike the likes of Metropolis, it stayed grounded in the real, rather than the abstract. Okay, I know that vampires aren't real, but I thought Nosferatu would be more surreal.

Nosferatu was a strange one. Considering its mighty reputation, I was expecting something more, but I was left disappointed.

Night of the Living Dead review

 Number 327 on the top 1000 films of all time is George Romero's 1968 zombie-horror film 'Night of the Living Dead.'

Barbra (Judith O'Dea) and her brother are laying flowers on her father's grave when her brother is attacked by a zombie. Barbra runs in terror to a nearby house where she meets Ben (Duane Jones) and a group of other survivors. Together, they need to figure out how to survive the coming zombie hordes.

I am conflicted about this film. I am well-aware of its reputation. In many ways, it pioneered the zombie-horror genre popularising many of the tropes we now see in the likes of the Walking Dead Franchise or Z Nation. However, at its heart, 'Night of the Living Dead' is a siege film.

A group of characters are boarded up in a location and are besieged by an enemy force. Romero's unrelated sequel Dawn of the Dead follows a similar plot line. But I often find siege films lacking in tension and forward momentum. The characters are stuck in one place not going anywhere neither physically or emotionally. In many ways, Night of the Living Dead also fell into this trap until the characters decide to escape for a safer location.

That is until they start making stupid decisions which screws everything up. Stupid characters making stupid decisions for no other reason than to forward the plot is an annoying and tiresome cliche. Unfortunately it has become a mainstay of horror films. Is Night of the Living Dead to blame for this? I'm not sure.

What I am sure about is how I did not like how they reduced Barbra to little more than a damsel-in-distress. After she is rescued by Ben, she very much becomes an empty shell lacking in agency. While this would be a realistic reaction, it is difficult to believe that a character like that could survive in a world like this. Originally, Barbra was written with more grit, but upon casting Judith O'Dea, Romero rewrote her character.

But one thing Romero did right was the casting of Duane Jones as Ben. He very much carried the film on his back, as Ben was the leader of the survivors. Plus, it was a rare occurrence to have a black man star in a 1960's film. Originally, Ben was supposed to be a crude, un-educated truck  driver, but at the intellectual Jones' insistence, he was changed into a more well-rounded leader.

One cliche I was glad not to see was the one black character dying first in the horror film.

*spoilers*

In fact, Ben was the last one to die. And I did not like how he died. It wasn't in a glorious last stand with the zombies, but by a posse of white men who mistake him for one of the undead and promptly shoot him. But was it a mistake? There are some who have read into the racial undertones of a white man shooting a black man in the backdrop of the Civil Rights Movement.

Either way, I found it to be an anti-climatic death unworthy of a good character. Reportedly, Jones wanted it this way saying it would be too Hollywood for him to be the last-man standing. That, notwithstanding, I would have preferred if he had been killed by a paranoid or scared man panicking over whether Ben was a zombie or not. Then his death might have had more meaning.

Nonetheless, I did enjoy Night of the Living Dead. It wasn't without its flaws, but it was still entertaining.

Aguirre: The Wrath of God

 Number 326 on the top 1000 films of all time is Werner Herzog's epic historical drama 'Aguirre: The Wrath of God.'

Aguirre (Klaus Klinski) is a soldier who is marching through the Andes Mountains in the search for the legendary lost city of El Dorado.

While the soldiers were looking for El Dorado, I was looking for an interesting film to watch. As Aguirre was boring with a capital B. It is low on action and high on characters staring into space saying nothing.

I understand this was partly down to Herzog's tiny budget. He couldn't afford any big action scenes. Fair enough, but the constant monologue and philosophising became tedious after a while. It hardly made for the most exciting of cinema.

It was also difficult to empathise with Spanish conquistadors who not only massacred all and enslaved the indigenous populations, but were so stupid they took horses and cannons into the jungle.

Reportedly, Klaus Klinski was an ogre on set, constantly coming to verbal blows with cast and crew. But he brought none of that energy to the role of Aguirre. I expected him to have a larger-than-life persona, but instead he remains in the background, simply pulling the strings, like a puppet-master who hides behind the curtain, because he's afraid to see his audience. He did not make for an interesting protagonist.

Finally, the crew also had trouble recording the sound, so much of the dialogue had to be dubbed. While this couldn't have been helped, it was not a good dub, and it was distracting.

I really did not like this film. It was a tedious affair with stupid characters and a boring protagonist.

Top Ten Golden Oldies on the top 1000 films of all time

 There is no agreement as to when exactly the Golden Age of Hollywood started and ended. Some sources say it began in 1915 with the release of the horrifically racist In the Birth of a Nation and stretched well into the 1960's.

However, I will be sticking with the general consensus that the Golden Age of Hollywood occurred between 1930 and 1960 - dominated by the five big studios of MGM, Warner Bros, RKO, 20th Century Fox and Paramount, as well as the "little three" studios of Universal, Columbia and United Artists.

This is a list of what I think are the top ten films from the Golden Age of Hollywood that also features on the top 1000 films of all time. This list of Golden Oldies is in no particular order except for chronology.

It happened One Night (1934) Columbia Pictures

Coming in at 132 on the top 1000 films of all time is Frank Capra's romantic-comedy: 'It happened One Night.' Starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert, it was the first only three films to win the five big Oscars: Best film, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay. Only One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and The Silence of the Lambs have only repeated this feat.

But it is easy to see why 'It Happened One Night' was so heavily awarded. Yes, it is cheesy and predictable in the way that many of the older films often were, but it still has an undeniable charm.

It was very much a sleeper hit with Gable and Colbert giving great performances which turned this film into a real classic.

The Great Dictator (1940) United Artists

How do you talk about the Golden Age of Hollywood and not mention the legendary Charlie Chaplin? Although he is best known for his silent films, Chaplin gives one of the best speeches in film history.

In many ways, this black comedy was Chaplin's first foray into the world of sound cinema. It was a great satire of the horrors that were occurring in World War Two Europe. Coming in at number 52 on the top 1000 films of all time, if there is a Charlie Chaplin film you're going to watch then it should be this one.

Casablanca (1942) Warner Brothers

Speaking of World-War-Two, let's talk about this brilliant romantic-drama. It focusses on the cynical Rick Spader (Humphrey Bogart) who is slowly drawn into helping the Czech resistance movement as they combat the Nazis.

Casablanca went onto win the Best film Oscar. It has a list of endlessly quotable lines, as well as the archetypal, reluctant hero played by Humphrey Bogart. Also starring Ingrid Bergman and Claude Rains, it's no wonder that Casablanca ranks at number 29 on the top 1000 films of all time. Now, here's looking at you, kid.

It's a Wonderful Life (1946) RKO pictures

Elf? Muppet Christmas Carol? Home Alone? Die Hard? The best Christmas film is It's a Wonderful Life. You heard it here first. Frank Capra's supernatural drama focusses on George Bailey (James Stewart,) a suicidally-depressed man who's taken on a magical journey where he is shown how bad life would have been if he had never been born.

No other film since has really keyed into the power that Christmas has to bring people together. Although RKO released this film to a lukewarm reception, it's gone onto become the 23rd best film on the top 1000 films of all time. There are some who might dismiss it as cheesy, overly-sentimental rubbish, but that's Christmas for you.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948) Warner Bros 

We've returned to Old Bogey with John Huston's Western. Humphrey Bogart, Tim Holt and Walter Brennan star as three prospectors looking for a mythical lost treasure in Mexico. All three lead actors give terrific performances, and the cinematography is astounding.

This intense, gripping film foregoes the usual tropes of a Western, in favour of an in-depth precautionary tale about the dangers of greed. I'm not the only one who thinks so as it comes in at 94 on the top 1000 films of all time.

Strangers on a Train (1951) Warner Bros

Alfred Hitchcock had to feature on this list, but the question was which film? The Birds features too late to qualify. Psycho, North by Northwest and Vertigo are all too obvious while the 39 Steps and the Lady Vanishes are all a bit ridiculous. Instead, I opted for the under-rated Strangers on a Train.

This film noir clocks in at 210 on the top 1000 films of all time. While some film noir *cough cough* the Big Sleep, it doesn't stumble over itself trying to be as smart as possible. Instead it presents a tense story revolving around a chance encounter of two strangers on a train. One stranger, Bruno (Robert Walker) is a psychopath who suggests murdering Guy's (Farley Granger) estranged wife if Guy murders Bruno's father. Cue a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse.

Yes, it is unlikely, as is much of Hitchcock's films, but comparatively-speaking, it is one of his most straight-forward films.

On the Waterfront (1954) Columbia Pictures

I could have been a contender. I could have been somebody.

These lines won Marlon Brando his first Best Acting Oscar. And he won this by starring as Terry Malloy, a New Jersey dock-worker turned hero in Elia Kazan's crime-drama that comes in at 118 on the top 1000 films of all time.

On the Waterfront tells a powerful story about the importance of standing up for what's right. It won a further seven Oscars including Best Supporting Actress for Eva Marie Saint.

On the Waterfront is a film that will live long in your memory long after the curtain has been drawn.

Rebel without a Cause (1955) Warner Bros

Legendary James Dean only starred in three films before his untimely death - one of them was the amazing Rebel without a Cause, which features at 458 on the top 1000 films of all time.

Receiving a posthumous Oscar nomination, he stars as Jim Stark - a lost, young man living in 1950's LA. There are some who might dismiss this film as whiny and edgy, but it perfectly encapsulates the alienation of a post WW2 generation, as well as every other successive generation questioning their place in the world.

It also stars Natalie Wood, another actor who died far too young.

12 Angry Men (April 1957) United Artists

12 Angry Men is 8th on the top 1000 films of all time - that is the highest placed of any film from the Golden Age of Hollywood.

Courtroom dramas aren't for everyone. Some can find them dull and lacking in action, but Sydney Lumet struck gold with his poignant story of twelve jurors deciding if a young man is guilty of murder or not. It has a brilliant cast led by Henry Fonda.

12 Angry Men is a claustrophobic, suffocating affair that presents many moral quandaries which it leaves up to the viewer to solve.

Paths of Glory (December 1957) United Artists

Forget The Killing, Barry Lyndon or the Shining. This is one of Kubrick's best films, second to only Full Metal Jacket. It is even better than 2001: a Space Odyssey. I said what I said.

Kirk Douglass plays Colonel Dax fighting to save three of his men from being unfairly shot for cowardice. It is a brilliant moral-drama that explores the horrors of war. At times, it is explosive, at others it is understated, but it is always entertaining. It also highlights the devastating effects of PTSD - a condition that was poorly understood at the time.

Featuring at 56 on the top 1000 films of all time, I would argue that it should be a few places higher Not only is it one of the top ten Golden Oldies, but one of the best films I've seen.

As always, this was a hard list to put together and there were many films that did not make the cut. Did I miss out any? Let me know in the comments below.

Top ten World Cinema films from the top 1000 films of all time

 Since I started working through the top 1000 films of all time, I have seen the best that World Cinema has to offer. Here are my top ten best World Cinema films.

City of God

There is a reason that this film is number 21 on the top 1000 films of all time. And there is a reason that it is on my list for the ten best films of all time. It is a breath-taking piece of cinema.

Detailing the lives of two boys growing up in the slums of Rio De Janeiro, it is an absolute roller-coaster. I have seen this film multiple times and each time it has been more thrilling than the last.

Oldboy

This Korean film comes in on number 82 on the top 1000 films of all time. Plus it also features on my top ten films of all time and for good reason. It is a powerful tale of revenge based on a Japanese manga.

This thriller follows Oh Dae-Su - a man who has been mysteriously imprisoned for fifteen years. After his sudden release, he goes on a self-destructive journey to find his kidnappers. It is brimming with gorgeous Korean proverbs, stunning fight sequences and one of the biggest plot twists in film history.

Rang De Basanti (Paint it Saffron)

Yes, you've guessed it. Rang De Basanti also features on the top 1000 films of all time at 34th. It is an Indian film. Critics of Indian cinema dismiss them as overly-dramatic with shoe-horned musical numbers. Yes, that is partly true, but Rang De Basanti is far more than that.

It tells the story of Sue - an English film-maker making a documentary about some of the early leaders of the Indian independence movement. However, the lines between reality and fiction soon begin to blur. It is a magnificent story about finding your place in the world. An absolute must-see for lovers of Indian cinema.

The Hunt

Director Thomas Vinterberg creates a gripping psychological drama that shows the witch-hunt following teacher Lucas (Mads Mikklesen) after he is falsely accused of molesting one of his pupils. This Danish film show-cased Mikklesen at his best. There is a reason that he won the Best Actor award at Cannes. But the entire film is a triumph. The tension never lets up for a minute. It is Danish cinema at its best. I much preferred it to Vinterberg's earlier effort of the Celebration, which is probably why The Hunt places 124 on the top 1000 films of all time. Fifty-five places higher than Vinterberg's earlier film.

My Neighbour Totoro

I had to include Japanese cinema on this list. And while it might have made sense to include Akira Kurosawa, I instead wanted to pay respect to the genre of anime. And there is no greater producer of anime than Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli.

I was so tempted to put Grave of the Fireflies on this list, but that heart-breaking affair has featured on other lists of mine, so I want to pay homage to another Studio Ghibli great: My Neighbour Totoro, which features at 137 on the top 1000 films of all time.

It would be all too easy to dismiss as a kids' film, but it is great for all the family to watch. Sisters Sasuki and Mai have just moved into a country home with their father while their mother is sick in the hospital. The young Mai then befriends the adorable Totoro who helps her through the process. This coming-of-age story is surprisingly poignant. Plus, I just love Totoro. He is the cutest thing ever. There's a reason he has become the mascot for Studio Ghibli.

Les Intouchables (The Untouchables)

This French film is the last time I'm going to mention my list of the top ten films of all time.

Les Intouchables features at 31 on the top 1000 films of all time. It tells the story of Philippe (Francois Cluzet) a billionaire quadriplegic and his unqualified, unprofessional carer Driss (Omar Sy.) Their unlikely friendship contributes to one of the feel-good films of the century.

Les Intouchables will make you laugh. It will probably make you cry too. Plus it's what launched Omar Sy to international stardom. If you've seen him in Lupin, do yourself a favour and go back and watch. You won't regret it.

Y tu Mama Tambien

We've come to Alfonso Cuaron and Mexico. This film really surprised me. Some of its critics have dismissed it as a Mexican American Pie, due to its frank depiction of sex, but this touching coming-of-age drama is far deeper than that. It places at 641 on the top 1000 films of all time.

It follows three characters: best friends Julio (Gael Garcia Bernal) and Tenoch (Diego Luna) and older Spanish woman Luisa (Maribel Verdu) as they try to find a mythical beach.

It's a story about growing up. It's a story about change. It is under-stated, but also really sexy. You just might not want to watch it with your parents.

IP Man

Although I'm generally not a fan of wuxia/kung-fu films, I would make an exception for IP man. It tells the true-life story of IP Man (Donnie Yen) a Kung-fu master who navigates the dangers of living in Hong Kong during the occupation of Japan. IP Man places at 215 on the top 1000 films of all time.

Unlike other Wuxia films, IP Man stays grounded in the real-life. Plus the kung-fu sequences are brilliantly choregraphed. Donnie Yen also gave a charismatic performance. I wasn't as keen on the sequel, but I still think IP man is the best that the Wuxia genre has to offer.

Zwartboek (Black Book)

We're returning to Europe with this excellent Dutch film that centres on the Dutch resistance movement during World War Two. Black Book is 435th on the top 1000 films of all time.

Where director Paul Verhoeven succeeded is by highlighting the different shades of grey that comes with warfare. No matter what Hollywood says, things are never black and white. This is a fast-paced affair with twist after twist. Its film-making at its best.

Das Boot 

We remain in World-War-Two for this excellent West German film that focusses on a German submarine crew who are under attack. And that film is Das Boot. It places 70th on the top 1000 films of all time.

Tight camera angles result in a claustrophobic, suffocating affair that highlights what it would be like to be on a submarine during battle. It also does great character work especially in how it explores how war can affect men. It certainly isn't perfect, but it is still an intense affair that doesn't let up for a minute.

It was difficult to nail this list down to just ten film. And there were many films and directors that did not make the cut: Fellini, Kurosawa, Bergman, Lang etc. Have I missed any other films? Let me know in the comments below.