Since 2015, I have been watching and reviewing the top 1000 films of all time. In these nine years, I have watched many films that did not deserve a place on that coveted list. These are just ten examples. And yes, I'm going to get some heat for this, but such is life. This list is in no particular order but chronologically.
This rom-com from the Golden Age of Hollywood is living proof of how badly the Hollywood machine can backfire.
On paper, the film should have worked. It's directed by Billy Wilder. It stars Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart and William Holden, but it was so dull and predictable. There was next to no dramatic tension. it didn't help that Bogart lacked any chemistry with Holden or Hepburn. That was due to how they didn't get on behind the scenes.
Either way this was not a good film at all.
I've watched a few Woody Allen films in my time, but Manhattan is my least favourite. For one, it was not funny at all. For two, Woody Allen plays the same character that he always does - a neurotic Jewish man going through a middle-aged crisis. For three, the characters spend most of the film name-dropping philosophers like they're wannabe intellectuals. Finally, the central love-story was deeply uncomfortable.
It followed Woody Allen - playing a forty-two year old man in a relationship with the seventeen-year-old Tracey (Muriel Hemingway.) She was only sixteen at the time of filming.
Build it and he will come. Who? An insomniac looking to watch a film so boring it will put you to sleep? You'll be in luck with 'Field of Dreams.'
This dull film was severely lacking in tension or anything that made it remotely interesting to watch. It was so lacking in conflict that I could summarise the plot in a simple sentence: a man going through a mid-life crisis builds a baseball ring to solve his daddy issues.
This film kicked off a whole franchise. How is a mystery to me. And its successors aren't much better either.
It follows Jason Bourne (Matt Damon,) a man with amnesia trying to rediscover his identity. It's funny that the Bourne Identity struggled to find its identity too. Is it an action-thriller? Not with its clear lack of memorable villains. Is it a romance? Not if the tepid love story was anything to go by.
The Bourne Identity? More like the Bourne Identiless to me.
Crash won the Best Picture Oscar for 2005. I have no idea how. It should have been nowhere near the Best Picture Oscar category. And it definitely should not have won. That honour should have gone to Brokeback Mountain. I said what I said.
Paul Haggis' clumsy and direction resulted in a contrived film that drastically over-simplified the race debate in the US. Thandie Newton and Terrence Rhodes' great performances were not enough to solve this car-crash of a film.
I'm still confused as to who thought this was one of the best thousand films of all time. A twelve-year-old boy? As it seemed to be written, filmed and edited by a twelve-year-old boy. You had filters from a 2000's Youtube video, Vera Farmilgia reduced to a sex object and ridiculously gratuitious violence. Not even the charismatic Paul Walker could save this disastrous film.
Michael Clayton (2007)
Michael Clayton isn't a bad film, but it certainly wasn't worthy of a place on this list. It was an underwhelming, under-developed affair severely lacking in heart. No wonder it was number 977 on the top 1000 films of all time.
Tilda Swinton won an Oscar while George Clooney was nominated for one. But Michael Clayton was not worthy of Oscars, let alone a place on this list.
Despicable Me (June 2010)
How on God's green Earth did this film star a whole franchise? It has Steve Carell who does drama and comedy. But there was nothing funny or dramatic about his performance here. It was just annoying. And Hollywood writers take note: fart jokes are only funny once or twice, not a thousand bloody times.
The Town (September 2010)
Don't forget that Ben Affleck has won Oscars for both directing and writing. But he certainly did not win them for this generic, forgettable heist film.
The Town was an overly-simple boring affair that was not helped by Affleck's wooden performance in his lead role. Jeremy Renner in a supporting role was the only redeeming aspect of this tedious affair.
The Hunger Games (2012)
I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but the Hunger Games made me so irrationally angry.
Firstly, the whole film is predicated on a gaping plot chasm, let alone hole. It makes no sense that Panem - a tyrannical government punishing their citizens for rebelling by forcibly entering twelve of their people into a fight to the death. But when Katniss Everdeen breaks the rules by volunteering as tribute, what do they do? They let her compete. She's broken the rules and they still let her compete.
That coupled with two-dimensional villains and underdeveloped side characters, who have meaningless death, make for an irritating film. Not even J-Law or Woody Harrelson were enough to save this damp squib.
Come at me in those comments. I don't care. These were over-rated films that are not some of the 1000 best films of all time. Did I miss any? Let me know.
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