Why Star Wars is overrated

 Yes fanboys, you've read that correctly. I think Star Wars is overrated, but before you start force choking and executing order 66 on me, hear me out.

I am a fan of Star Wars - the films at least, I have had little exposure with the extended universe, but I don't think they're some of the best films of all time. The original trilogy certainly don't deserve to be included in the top 1000 films of all time.

I can acknowledge Star Wars for what it is - mindless, escapist fun. It's nothing more than that - we're not talking hard sci-fi like Blade Runner or Star Trek where we get deep philosophical questions about what it means to be human. Star Wars is the hero's journey set in space. That's it.

I've always been puzzled when I've heard girls say that they don't get Star Wars. What's there to get? Are we talking about something as (supposedly) profound or deep as 2001: A Space Odyssey. Are we posed with meaningful questions about the nature of humanity like we get in the Terminator films? Star Wars is nothing more than a big boy's film: it's a Western set in space. Tatooine and the other outer rim systems are the Wild West - the Mos Eisley cantina is an easy substitute for the old-timey saloons. Instead of horses we have spaceships. Instead of the man in black, we have Darth Vader. Luke Skywalker is our hero in white. The bounty hunter Han Solo is the outlaw, roguish man with no name. The blasters substitute the magnum revolvers. Hell, instead of Indians and cowboys, we have the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire.

I think George Lucas would agree with me. When he was originally creating Star Wars, he wanted to make something closer to Flash Gordon and the Brothers' Grimm fairytales than Kubrick's Space Odyssey. He wanted to create a space fantasy where the audiences witnessed something fun, adventurous and whimsical. And that's what he did. It doesn't mean that these films are the best ever made.

Fans slate the Disney sequel saga for their awful writing and dialogue. That's fair criticism, but I would urge you to take off your rosy-tinted glasses. The original films are just as badly written. The evil, omnipotent Galactic Empire was stupid enough to make not one but two Death Stars with the same fatal flaw of having a massive hole in the middle, which any old rebel pilot can fly their X-Fighter into and shoot a few torpedoes into. This is an error so egregious that Family Guy mocked it and a whole new film had to be created to explain it - Rogue One. 

Furthermore, Leia kisses Luke in a New Hope and the Empire Strikes Back before confessing that she's always known they were brother and sister in the Return of the Jedi. A lot of this comes down to Lucas' originally writing a monstrously huge script for A New Hope - most of which had to be spread across a whole trilogy of films. This meant that he had to use the ending of Return of the Jedi for a New Hope, as he explained in the DVD commentary, which would explain the overly-cheesy and definitive ending that didn't leave much room for a sequel. 

Yet it isn't just his writing that is bad, but also his dialogue. Harrison Ford criticised it saying you can type this shit up, but you can't say it. There are varying reports about why Alec Guinness' character of Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi dies in a New Hope, but some say that Guinness begged to be killed off, so he didn't have to say the dialogue anymore. In Attack of the Clones, Hayden Christensen, who plays Anakin Skywalker, goes off about how much he hates sand. A lot of people slate Christensen's wooden performance, but how charismatic can you be when you have to recite a monologue about sand?

But Lucas wasn't just bad at writing or at dialogue, but also direction. Far from being a director who was at the forefront of the action, he gave his cast and crew little instruction. Producer Gary Kurtz described him as a loner who didn't get on with the large crew while Carrie Fisher said that when he did give direction it was little more than "faster" or "more intense," in the Empire of Dreams The Story of the Star Wars trilogy documentary. That's exactly the captain you want at the helm of your ship, right?

What I will give Star Wars credit for is its pioneering use of special and visual effects. Obviously, I wasn't alive to see the original films in cinema, but I've heard that it was an amazing experience, because of the effects. Lucas made terrific use of miniature models to create some brilliant action sequences.

This pioneering use of models eventually translated into CGI, which made the prequels such an entertaining watch. But it was just entertaining. Nothing more. Especially when Lucas took things too far and kept constantly re-releasing the original trilogy with unnecessary edits like replacing the original holographic emperor in The Empire Strikes Back, played by Marjorie Eaton, voiced by Clive Revill, with Ian Mcdermid who went onto play the evil emperor in the prequels. Another replacement saw Sebastian Shaw who played the force ghost of Anakin Skywalker in the Return of the Jedi being swapped out with Hayden Christensen.

I also don't think the prequels aren't as bad as the fanbase makes them out to be. Yes, the Phantom Menace is slow-paced and bogged down with trade negotiations, but they get progressively better from there. Despite being bad, they are still entertaining. Like the originals. And, like the originals, they all share the same weaknesses. Samuel L. Jackson had to say some god-awful dialogue in Return of the Sith: "our worse fears have been realised," and, who can forget Darth Vader cheesily screaming out nooooooooooooooo. Of course, we've already heard about the infamous sand monologue.

There is nothing a Star Wars fan hates more than Star Wars. And there is no fandom I hate more than the Star Wars one. (I wouldn't be surprised if I start getting force-choked before I finish writing this.) I get that all fanbases have their toxic, elitist elements, but the Star Wars fanbase seems rotten to the core.

Firstly, they're blinded by nostalgia for the originals, which as we've already established, aren't all they're cracked up to be. But these rosy-tinted glasses have become blinkers where they struggle to acknowledge anything out of their reality.

Now even a casual Star Wars fan like me can acknowledge that the Disney sequels aren't great - even by Star Wars' standards. In the opposite of the prequels, they start off well and get progressively worse. I enjoyed the Force Awakens - I thought Ray and Finn were great together. But then they're separated for the next two films. In lieu of not knowing what to do with Finn, they give a couple of love stories that don't work, all while Ray's writing becomes progressively more contrived.

This is all fair criticism, but due to the Star Wars fandom, who enjoys bullying actors on social media, I'm sure it doesn't go far enough. Star Wars fans so hated the character of Rose in the Last Jedi that they sent no shortage of racist and sexist hate to Rose's actress Kelly Marie Tran - so much so that she deleted her social media. There were plenty who insisted this wasn't indicative of the whole fanbase, but I'm not so sure. Ahmed Best who played JarJar Binks became suicidal over the hate he received from playing a fictional character. Jake Lloyd who played the young Anakin Skywalker in A Phantom Menace didn't grow up to be a Hollywood A-Lister, but a paranoid schizophrenic with a criminal record. Granted, this isn't directly the result of the fandom, but being constantly bullied certainly didn't help things either.

I realise this isn't strictly a Star Wins, but a fanbase being stupid thing - Leslie Jones in Ghostbusters and Josh Mcdermitt in the Walking Dead also suffered abuse at the hands of so-called fans. Hell, even Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, had people hissing and booing at him in the streets. Yet it always seems the Star Wars fanbase who seems the most vitrolic in their hate. And they are always the ones you less likely to be able to reason with.

Do you disagree with me? Prove me wrong in the comments, but don't talk to me the way you did with Kelly Marie Trans. And remember, I do like Star Wars.  They're just NOT the best films ever. May the force be with you all.

Ten films that should have been included on the top 1000 films of all time

 IMDB's top 1000 films of all time covers ninety-four years of film from Charlie Chaplin's 1925 The Kid to Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley's 2015 Vacation. Of course, it cannot include every film ever made, but I do think there are some egregious omissions. Considering there are at least thirty films that do not deserve to be on this list, I'm going to propose ten films that could take their place. This list is in no order, but chronology.

Bugsy Malone (1976)

If there's something that IMDB loves, it's both gangster films and musicals. The Godfather, Sweeney Todd and Les Miserables  all feature on the famous list. Bugsy Malone combines these two genres in a heart-warming pastiche of the mob films of old.

It tells the story of Bugsy Malone (Scott Baio) who is caught in a war between two rival gangsters. The film is notable for how it cast teenage actors in adult roles - like Jodie Foster in one of her earliest roles. Sure it gets a bit cheesy at the end, but so does Argo and that won the Best Film Oscar, despite lacking so many of the brilliant musical numbers Bugsy Malone has.

1984 (1984)

This is a film that needs no introduction. Considering how IMDB seems to love dystopia films, with Twelve Monkeys, Dark City and V for Vendetta all placing on the list, I don't understand why 1984 wasn't even mentioned.

1984 and its associated ideas of double speak and Big Brother have long entered the cultural lexicon. The film stars John Hurt as Winston Smith and Richard Burton, but I still don't understand why it wasn't included. It can substitute Brazil. At least 1984 actually has a point.

It (1990)

This adaptation of Stephen King's horror epic was actually a two-part TV film, so I guess that's why it didn't appear on IMDB's list. Yet I still think it deserves a place.

You could certainly argue that it might seem dated by today's standards, but Tim Curry's villainous performance as Pennywise the Clown was a lot scarier than the excessive gore, CGI and jump-cuts that dominate horror today. Best of all, it isn't nearly as long as Stephen King's 1000 page source material.

Natural Born Killers (1994)

NBK was highly controversial on its release. Some were critical of its extreme depictions of violence, while its distinctive visual style probably did nothing to help naysayers. Even writer Quentin Tarantino has since disowned this film.

But I think those who hated this film have missed its key idea. Director Oliver Stone was criticising the true-crime phenomenon that fascinated society even in the 90's. He was making the point of how the media irresponsibly glorifies criminals, which is as true back then as it is now.

Some love NBK. Some hate it. I loved it and I think it deserved a place on this list. it could easily replace Field of Dreams. At least NBK has something to say.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Relax, fan boys. The prequels aren't as bad as you say. As long as you don't take them too seriously, they're good fun to watch. And Attack of the Clones has plenty of fun, action sequences to carry it through.

Yes the dialogue is pretty bad with the characterisations being very thin, but how does this make it any different from any of the other Star Wars films?

The other films (sans Phantom Menace, obviously) appear on this list, so why not Attack of the Clones too? At least there isn't a Death Star where the villains were so stupid the designed it with a giant hole - a plot chasm so great, they had to make a whole film to fix it. May the force be with you.

Three and Out (2008)

I must be the only person who would put this on a top 1000 film list. This British black tragicomedy was panned by audiences and critics alike.

But I loved it. It was equal parts hilarious and heart-breaking with great performances from Mackenzie Crook, Colm Meaney, Gemma Arteton and Imelda Staunton. It was a film severely hurt by a disastrous marketing campaign.

Some might say this is a terrible film, but so is Running Scared and the Boondock Saints and they still featured on the list.

The Road (2009)

The Road is a bloody depressing film. Perhaps that's why it didn't feature. But Blue Valentine is equally depressing and that still featured. The Road is another adaptation of a Cormac McCarthy book featuring a father and son traversing an apocalyptic wasteland. Yes, it is downbeat and frustratingly vague, but it is still a powerful tale of hope and redemption.

No Country for Old Men - another Cormac McCarthy adaptation - placed at number 204th. Why wasn't the Road included too?

Carrie (2013)

Remakes are rarely a welcome sight among audiences. Most see them as shameless cash grabs, as was the case with the 2013 remake of Carrie.

But I'm going to be controversial and say that Carrie deserved its place on this list alongside the 1976 original. For one, it has a more faithful representation of Carrie, and two it has the excellent Chloe Grace-Moretz taking over from Sissy Spacek.

Despite what some critics have said, there are also some genuine scares too.

Whiplash (October 2014)

Whiplash received critical acclaim. It was won a whole host of awards including multiple Oscars. JK Simmons won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as a tyrannical music teacher. it was directed by Damian Chazelle who two years later won a Best Director Oscar.

So why wasn't this film included on IMDB's list? I am absolutely baffled. It is a brilliant film - yes the ending doesn't make sense, but neither does The Hunger Games and that was still selected over Whiplash. Why?

Big Hero 6 (November 2014)

Frozen was a Disney film included on the IMDB list. Big Hero 6 was not. Frozen was picked over Big Hero 6. FROZEN!!! Big Hero Six was a fantastic film that had one of the cutest Disney protagonists since Wall-E. It had gorgeous animation and perfectly balanced humour and heartbreak. I can't think of many other films that make me cry from both laughter and sadness.

Have I missed out of any films? Let me know your thoughts below.

Star Wars Attack of the Clones (2002) review

 It might not surprise some of you to learn that this film does not land a place on the top 1000 films of all time. The Star Wars prequels were polarising to say the least, but I think Attack of the Clones deserves a place (not a high place, but a place nonetheless.)

Attack of the Clones picks up ten years after the Phantom Menace left off where the prophetic chosen one Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) is now a Padawan learner under Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan Mcgregor.) The galaxy is on the edge of civil war, as more systems secede from the Republic to join a Separatist movement led by Count Dooku (Christopher Lee.) Meanwhile, Anakin begins an illicit romance with Senator Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman.)

I'm sure there are many Star Wars' fans who are frothing at the mouth when I suggest that Attack of the Clones is good enough to have merited a place on the top 1000 films, but as long as you take it for what it is - good fun, there's no reason that it shouldn't have a place. Don't worry, I'm not going to start advocating for a Phantom Menace or the sequels.

Yes, Hayden Christensen is pretty creepy/wooden throughout the film, but no creepier than Leia kissing Luke not once but twice and then having her confess that she's always known that Luke is her brother. Not to mention that Christensen had some awful dialogue to recite. How charismatic can you be when you have to talk about sand? I would also question how much chemistry he had with Natalie Portman.

Yet where Star Wars always delivers is the action sequences and Attack of the Clones delivers here. These are the parts I remember the most about this film. We get some awesome light-sabre rattling as Obi-Wan and Anakin fight Count Dooku, before we learn why Yoda is the greatest Jedi of all time. The fight in the Geonosis arena also led to some thrilling viewing.

This more action-oriented edition of the Star Wars saga helped to steer the franchise away from the more tedious aspects of A Phantom Menace. Long gone are the trade negotiations. It also marked a darker tonal shift, as we gain more insight into what made Anakin Skywalker become Darth Vader. There are plenty of dark scenes, as Anakin channels his inner-angsty teenager, and massacres the group of sand-people who captured and tortured his mother to death.

Like I say, I wouldn't have placed Attack of the Clones highly on my top 1000 film list, but I would have still given it its dues. Yes, it has flaws, but these flaws apply to the franchise as a whole - and A New Hope and the Empire Strikes Back feature in the top twenty, so there you go.

 

Ten films that will be on IMDB's next list of the top 1000 films of all time

 I started watching IMDB's original list in 2015. Almost a decade later, I am 620 films deep. I don't know when the original list was released, but presumably 2015, as there is only one film from that year on the list.  Although I don't quite understand why, but there aren't any films from 2014.

In this list I will count down ten films released from 2014 onwards that are so good they will surely appear on IMDB's next iteration of the top 1000 films of all time. As usual, this list is in no other order but chronology.

Whiplash (2014)

Damian Chazelle directed this stunner of a film. Only two years later, he went onto become the youngest winner of the Best Director Oscar. It is no surprise as his depiction of a relationship between a tyrannical music teacher and his student is cinema at its best.

JK Simmons and Miles Teller are brilliant in the lead roles with JK Simmons taking home a much-deserved Best Supporting Actor Oscar. This film is all about a teacher putting his student to be the absolute best whatever the cost. It was a rollercoaster that will leave you with whiplash in more ways than one.

Manchester by the Sea (November 2016)

This isn't the first time I've mentioned this film on one of my listicles. It also appeared on my list of films too traumatic to watch again. It is a damn depressing film. Considering it follows a man coming to terms with losing his family in a house fire, this is no surprise really. It is a poignant if heart-breaking examination of the different ways that we handle grief.

Casey Affleck plays the tragic husband and father in a role that won him an Oscar. This is a powerful if depressing film that would not be out of place on an updated list of the top 1000 films of all time.

Star Wars: Rogue One (December 2016)

It wouldn't be controversial to say that Disney's new saga of Star Wars films have been polarising. But with five films to pick from one of them has to make the list.

That film should be Rogue One: the best out of the bunch. It is a grittier realisation of the Star Wars universe: albeit it still has some comedic elements, but overall, it is much darker. It also takes some brave creative risks that separate it from the other Star Wars films.

Yes, the age-regression CGI looks dodgy, but the Darth Vader sequence at the end was enough to excite even a casual fan like me.

Blackkklansman (August 2018)

It is all too easy to dismiss the United States' obsession with race relations as a perversion. But when you see films like Blackkklansman, you can see the US' troubled relationship with race over the years.

Spike Lee tells the true story of Ron Stallworth (John David Washington) a black cop who infiltrates the KKK in the seventies with the help of his Jewish colleague Flip Zimmerman (Adam Driver.) Washington and Driver are both absolutely fantastic in his film that brings new life to a hackneyed conversation - a conversation that was particularly prescient considering the context of Charlottesville.

Green Book (November 2018)

America's examination of race continues in this superlative film. It won the Best Picture Oscar with some arguing it didn't deserve that award. Critics said it was too derivative of older films like Driving Miss Daisy, as well as failing to consult the families of the people it was portraying like Don Shirley.

Yet it is still a much better film than 2005's Crash which engages with similar themes and also controversially won the Best Picture Oscar.

Viggo Mortenson and Mahershala Ali were great in the lead roles with Ali winning a much-deserved Oscar. This is an excellent, feel-good film that shows you there is still hope for everyone.

Joker (October 2019)

It is no secret that I am not a fan of comic book/super hero films. I never have been. But Joker is a far cry from the campy 60's TV shows or the CGI, special-effect heavy films that have dominated so much of the noughties and 2010s.

It is a dark, gritty re-imagining of one of Batman's most compelling villains. Director Todd Philips shows exactly what can happen when people are pushed past their limits in frightening fashion. Joaquin Phoenix earned a long-overdue Oscar for playing the Crown Prince of Crime. But this wans't just a legacy win. He was a true marvel.

El Hoyo (The Platform) (November 2019)

This is a Spanish Netflix release that took the streaming service by storm. Considering how the original IMDB list loves its kooky, science-fiction/dystopian films, I think El Hoyo would fit in perfectly in an updated version of its list.

Goreng wakes up to find himself prisoner in a vertical tower block. The prisoners are fed via floating platform covered in a feast of food that stops at each level for a couple minutes before moving onto the next one. The catch? The food isn't replenished from top to bottom meaning that the upper levels gorge while the lower levels starve.

Beyond the obvious moral message, El Hoyo also hosts a range of interesting characters who all have their own stories to follow.

Help (2021)

This British film stars the incredible actor Stephen Graham, as well as the equally fantastic Jodie Comer. Help was a TV film that follows care worker Sarah (Jodie Comer) as she struggles working in a care home during the pandemic. Stephen Graham plays one of her patients - Tony - a man with early-onset dementia.

I similarly worked in a care home all through Covid so this film hit me hard. I'm not afraid to say it made me cry. It was a gut-wrenching but magnificent piece of film-making.

Boiling Point (January 2022)

Another British film starring Stephen Graham! Here he plays a struggling head chef at a prestigious London restaurant in this one-take Netflix release. This film had an absolutely terrific energy that made it difficult to look away for a second.

It highlights every single element that goes into creating a successful restaurant service from the cooking to the dish-washing to the serving. We quickly understand that every single college is essential. Without them, the whole system collapses. The whole cast is great, but so is writer-director Philip Barantini for creating a set of characters where everybody is interesting.

Everything Everywhere All At Once (March 2022)

The final film I will mention was one of the biggest films of 2022. It received critical acclaim as well as a whole bunch of awards including seven Oscars. It is a powerful film that is funny, tragic, amazing and heart-warming.

This mind-bending science-fiction film follows Chinese-American immigrant Evelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh) as she navigates her family life and the multiverse. The film's surreal, complicated storytelling is certainly not for everyone, but Michelle Yeoh and Key Huy Quan gave performances that earned them well-deserved Oscars. I may argue that Stephanie Hsu deserved the Best Supporting Actress Oscar over her co-star Jamie Lee Curtis, but maybe that's just me.

That's my list. I freely admit that by having spent so many years dogmatically wading through IMDB's original list, I am at least ten years behind on popular films. Have I missed any out? Let me know in the comments below.

Star Wars: Rogue One (2016) review

 Set just before the events of Star Wars: A New Hope, Rogue One follows a group of rebels plotting to steal the schematics of the Empire's Death Star in the hopes of finding a fatal weakness. The rebels include renegade Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones), Rebel captain and spy, Cassian Andor (Diego Luna), blind warrior monk Chirrut Imwe (Donnie Yen), Chirrut's friend and mercenary Baze Malbus (Jiang Wen) and droid K-2SO (Alan Tudyk).

There is no denying that Star Wars is one of the biggest media franchises in history. The three original films all feature highly on IMDB's list of the top 1000 films of all time with the Empire Strikes Back ranking at 13 and A New Hope at 19. Even the Revenge of the Sith features far lower down on the list. 

But it is difficult to deny that Disney has butchered its attempts at reviving the franchise. Even a casual fan like me can acknowledge that the sequel trilogy are pretty flawed. I am doubtful whether any of their films will appear on an updated version of the aforementioned list that has become my obsession to complete. The only exception would be the anthology film of Rogue One. 

In Rogue One, director Gareth Edwards had the bravery to take the franchise into a darker, unknown territory. For one, it foregoes the opening crawl and transition wipes that has become mainstay of the franchise. Furthermore, the light-hearted whimsy has been substituted for a far starker tonal shift. True, in the Last Jedi, Rian Johnson also tried taking risks, but J.J. Abrams walked most of these back in The Rise of Skywalker. However, the nature of Rogue One meant that nobody could undermine Gareth Edwards' bold direction.

Principally, Rogue One, addresses on of the biggest plot holes that has haunted the original Star Wars films - how could the omnipotent, omniscient Galactic Empire overlook such a vital flaw within their Death Star unless that flaw was disguised as a clever part of sabotage. Cue Mads Mikklesen who stars as Galen Erso - the architect of the Death Star.

He is arguably the biggest name in this film. In line with the previous films, Edwards eschewed casting Hollywood A-listers for lesser-known actors like Diego Luna, Felicity Jones, Donnie Yen and Alan Tudyk. Yet they all brought different elements to their roles especially Donnie Yen who played the blind monk Chirrut Imwe. Again contrasting with the previous films, the Jedi do not play a large role in Rogue One. Alan Tudyk is also great as the comic relief character of K-2SO.

Sure, there are some who would argue that Rogue One is derivative of previous Star Wars films, but I would argue those fans are blinded by nostalgia. In Return of the Jedi, the Galactic Empire are building a second even more powerful Death Star that has the same flaw at the first. And it is doubtful that Galen Erso designed this flaw. If you think about it, it's as stupid as the "somehow Palpatine returned" line.

Another reason why Rogue One is so brave is that is take the bold decision of 

*spoilers alert*

killing all its main characters. The principle cast who we've all grown to love all die at the end of the film. All of them. This would be unusual in any Hollywood film, let alone a Star Wars film. It's certainly a contrast to the cheesy medal ceremony at the end of a New Hope. In fact, the ending of Rogue One is so striking, as it is a rare showcase of the bad guys winning.

Yes, our heroes do get the plans to a CGI'ed Princess Leia, but they all die in the process. That CGI was weird though. It was freaky seeing the deceased Peter Cushion and Carrie Fisher being resurrected by some type of de-aging computer technology. Considering how Star Wars  was so pioneering in its special effects, it is peculiar that the CGI looked so dodgy here.

Anyway, while I don't think that the Force Awaken, the Last Jedi or the Rise of Skywalker would make it onto an updated list of IMDB's top 1000 films, Rogue One surely would even if for the epic Darth Vader sequence at the end. You know the one I mean.