Remember the Titans review

 Number 573 on the top 1000 films of all time is the biopic sports-drama 'Remember the Titans.'

Remember the Titans is based on a true story. It is set in 1970's Virginia. In an effort to successfully integrate the T.C Williams High School, the school board initially hires Herman Boone (Denzel Washington) to coach the black football team, before deciding he should integrate the black and white teams. He is aided by the school's former coach Bill Yoast (Will Patton.) Ryan Hurst and Ryan Gosling co-star.

Remember the Titans should have been like a shot of adrenaline, yet another painful reminder of the US's racial history where the audience are brought face to face with the country's terrible past. It should have been like a slap to the cheek. Instead it was like being tickled with a feather duster. There was no grit. No bite. Nothing beyond the lofty ideals. It reminded me of Crash and its over-simplified take on race relations.

I think much of this can be put down to how Remember the Titans was a Disney film. It suffered terribly because of the studio. As it was Disney, it needed to be a family-friendly story that stripped away all the nuance and hard-hitting social commentary especially on the topic of racism. Other than the odd racial slur, it felt like a coming-of-age drama with the odd song or too.

You can't really fault Denzel Washington for this. He did his best with a cheesy script, but he's been in much better similar films like Glory. Less good were some of his co-stars. I get that Ryan Hurst was young and this was long before his winning roles in Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead, but he was pretty wooden as the football captain Gerry Bertier. His romance with his girlfriend was pretty boring too even as we see her rejecting him because of how he embraces integration.

While Ryan Gosling was only a supporting character, I was expecting him to do more than just dance. It was difficult to believe that he would go on to become one of Hollywood's greatest leading men. But at least the Ryans looked like high-schoolers. Ethan Suplee who played Louie Lastik was the oldest sixteen year old I had ever seen. His receding hairline did little to help things.

As for the black footballers like Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass (Kip Pardue) and Jerry "Rev" Harris (Craig Kirkwood,) they were similarly under-developed and one-note. I think the script did a lot of their characters a big disservice especially when they should have been the main stars.

But we cannot blame the cheesy, over-simplified script for everything. Ultimately, this was a Walt Disney misfire - a misguided attempt to deliver what should have been a hard-hitting piece of social commentary in the cheesiest most sanitised way possible.

Buffalo '66 review

 Number 815 on the top 1000 films of all time is Vincent Gallo's 1998 independent-drama 'Buffalo '66.'

Billy Brown (Vincent Gallo) has just been released after a five-year prison sentence. He kidnaps tap dancer Layla (Christina Ricci) and coerces him into pretending to be his wife while they have dinner with his parents. The two form an unlikely relationship.

This was a strange film. It was surreal in both its subject matter and visual style yet it kind of worked. Despite the hokey plotline, it was still quite entertaining. 

This was despite how Billy and Layla's relationship was completely absurd. Maybe the 90's was a simpler time, because if a man snatched a girl off the street in 2024 and asked her to pretend to be his wife, he would get a kick in the crotch and a face full of pepper spray. Maybe he would form a twisted connection to her, but there's no way she would reciprocate his feelings.

But that's exactly what happens in Buffalo '66 even though it doesn't make any sense. It's not like Billy Brown is a hoodlum with a heart of gold. He kidnaps Layla and is constantly rude and abusive to her. He is controlling, coercing and a borderline bully. It didn't help that the two lacked chemistry - probably due to how Ricci and Gallo clashed behind the scenes. Although Ricci was good, it seemed like Gallo was playing every East-Coast Italian-American mob stereotype ever. Considering he worked for the mob as a kid this all makes sense.

This criticism notwithstanding, the film's surrealism is what made it watchable. This was no more present than the famous family dinner scene where Layla sees how dysfunctional Billy's parents are - played by Angelica Huston and Ben Gazarra. His mum can't remember that her son has a chocolate addiction. His dad is more interested in Layla than his wife. This gave the film a lot of off-the-wall humour.

I'm really not sure what to make of Buffalo '66. The storyline was complete nonsense. And the leads had no chemistry yet it was still entertaining and memorable.

The Blind Side review

 Number 587 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 2009 sports drama 'The Blind Side.'

Based on a true story, the Blind Side follows Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron) - a quiet, timid African-American from a dysfunctional background. With next to no prospects or family, he is taken in by the Tuohy family led by matriarch Leigh-Anne (Sandra Bullock) who nurtures him into becoming a star quarterback in American football.

The Blind Side has received its fair share of backlash. Least of all from the real-life Michael Oher. He recently claimed that rather than being adopted by the Tuohys as the film claims, they actually tricked him into signing a conservatorship meaning that the Tuohys rather than him received the residuals from this film.

This is irrelevant to the Blind Side as a film. What is relevant is Michael Oher's further criticism. In his 2012 autobiography, he criticises how the film portrays him as a simpleton. I don't know the true story, but I would agree with this characterisation. It did seem overly-simplistic. Michael Oher is from the ghetto. It seems unlikely that such a quiet, docile man could come from such a tough environment, although not impossible.

It seemed like a borderline caricature. I'm surprised that the film-makers didn't go so far as to give him a hick, country accent. And I think it would have been more interesting to see some hardcase ghetto kid soften up as he realises the opportunities that are available to him.

This was a shame, because otherwise I did enjoy the Blind Side. Jae Head was a highlight as SJ - the youngest child of the Tuohy's family. And despite being in a supporting role, Kathy Bates shone as always. Although the film centred on American Football, it was still accessible to a Brit like me. Sandra Bullock won the Best Actress Oscar. She did well and I certainly don't think she should have to return it like some say. She's an actress playing a part. She didn't know about any of this controversy when she took on the role.

It was just disappointing that the Blind Sale could falter so much in its portrayal of its central character.

Green Street Hooligans review

 Number 767 on the top 1000 films of all time is the British crime-drama 'Green Street Hooligans.'

Matt Buckner (Elijah Wood) is a journalism major who was kicked out of Harvard after taking the fall for his cokehead roommate. He goes to London to live with his sister Shannon (Clare Forlani) and her English husband Steve (Marc Warren.) There Matt is befriended by Steve's brother Pete (Charlie Hunnam) who leads the local firm - the Green Street Elite - a gang of football hooligans who support West Ham football club.

If you were wondering what Elijah Wood was doing after LOTR and Charlie Hunmman before he became a transatlantic star in the American tv series Sons of Anarchy, they were starting trouble in London's East End. But, before that, we need to address the huge elephant in the room: Charlie Hunnam. His Cockney accent is regarded as one of the worst in film history, and it was on-par with Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. It didn't help that Hunnam was saddled with such cumbersome dialogue; it was like he had been directed to recite the Cockney Rhyming Slang dictionary. Do people really talk like that?

You can see Charlie Hunnam's acting potential, but he was so rough around the edges, it's difficult to believe that just three years later, he would go onto star in Sons of Anarchy, where he does a great Californian accent. Speaking of accents, I just read that Clare Forlani who played Shannon is actually English. She does a much better accent than Charlie Hunnam. The actor who plays Matt and Shannon's father - Henry Goodman is also English, with Elijah Wood being the only true American in the cast.

Speaking of Elijah Wood, he was great as the transatlantic fish-out-of-water. At first, he is very out of place, but he soon fits right in with Pete and the rest of their gang, as they clash with the other firms. He isn't a big or threatening presence, but you can clearly see his progression from weak outsider to a force to be reckoned with.

At times, the violence was excessive and over-the-top, but this was still an entertaining film that displayed the loyalty that these gangs have to each other. they take so much identity in where they're from and what football clubs they support. Although I find it difficult to believe that any of the GSE would be able to hold down full-time jobs while being part of the film. What school would want to employ Pete as a PE teacher? His fellow hooligan Dave (Ross McCall) is an airline pilot. Where does he find time to be a hooligan with his busy schedule?

 The story itself is good enough, while being predictable and cheesy. This is no more evidence than the ending which let the film down. *Spoiler alert*

The GSE had a final showdown with long-standing rivals - the Milwall firm 'the NGO.' But Shannon randomly drives down to the fight as well. Inevitably, this draws attention from the Milwall thugs. And Pete has to sacrifice himself to allow Matt to get his sister to safety. This was a silly, illogical contrivance. There's no explanation for how Shannon would know about the fight or where it was, and she had no reason to be there, except to cause unnecessary conflict. If it wasn't for her, Pete would still be alive. And don't get me started on the stupid slow-motion and choral singing.

That notwithstanding, I ultimately did enjoy Green Street. Sure, it was cheesy, but it was also an intense and rapt look at the hooliganism that dominates UK football.