Lars and the Real Girl review

 Number 927 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 2007 comedy-drama 'Lars and the Real Girl.'

Lars Lindstrom (Ryan Gosling) is a socially awkward, but kind-hearted man in a small American town. He lives in the garage of the house owned by his brother Gus (Paul Sneider) and his wife Karin (Emily Mortimer.) The intensely lonely Lars then starts a romantic, but asexual relationship with a sex doll called Bianca.

This was one of the kookiest films I've seen in a while. On paper, it certainly sounds dubious. A socially awkward single man has a relationship with a sex doll. He has to be some type of pervert, right? This film is just going to be an exercise in cruelty mocking him. 

Yet it was a charming and strangely touching affair. In some ways it reminded me of Spike Jonze's Her which also explored similar themes of human connection. It certainly helped that you had Ryan Gosling in the lead role. He was charismatic enough to make Lars an intensely likeable character. The whole town rallies around him and his relationship with Bianca. I guess it helped they cast a dreamboat like Ryan Gosling. If they had cast somebody like Danny Devito it would have been a very different film. Sorry, Danny, but it's true.

However, Ryan has much more to offer than his good looks. He is also incredibly funny which helped to add some much-needed whimsy into this affair. But he cannot take all the credit. Both Paul Sneider and Emily Mortimer were good as Lars' family who while thoroughly confused by Lars' actions are determined to help support him however they can. Mortimer certainly showed a lot more charisma here than in Match Point.

Patricia Clarkson also shines in supporting role as she plays a doctor who gives regular treatments to Bianca, but who is secretly diagnosing and analysing Lars. She played a compassionate and caring character. These are the best types of doctors to have.

Everything culminates in a bittersweet conclusion which I won't spoil here, but we see Lars go through some real character growth. It was a satisfactory arc and a way to bring the story to a good ending. His emotional journey was correct.

Like I say this is one of the strangest films I've seen in a while, but it definitely worked. It had the correct tone. Instead of being a  gross-out comedy, it was treated with real heart and care. And it was certainly a creative idea. No wonder it received an Oscar nod for Best Original Screenplay. 

Cube (1997) review

 Number 922 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 1997 Canadian science-fiction thriller 'Cube.'

A group of strangers wake up to find themselves trapped in a prison of cubed-shaped rooms. They aim to escape while avoiding deadly booby-traps. The group includes cop Quentin (Maurice Dean Wint,) office worker Worth (David Hewlett), mathematician Leaven (Nicole de Boer), doctor Holloway (Nicky Guadagni), escape artist Rennes (Wayne Robson) and the autistic Kazan ( Andrew Miller).

I often find that science-fiction walks a fine line between prioritising its big ideas over its characters or its characters over its big ideas. However, Cube failed on both fronts. It was certainly entertaining, if a creepy affair, but there was probably a reason that it ranks so low on this list of films.

The concept is intriguing, but the execution is not. We learn that Worth helped to design the cube, but he doesn't know the true meaning behind his actions. He theorises that the cube's original purpose has been forgotten and they were placed inside it to justify its use. This unsatisfactory payoff flies in the face of Quentin's idea that they were all put there for a reason. This would be a more satisfying answer. Another answers could be that all the characters were falsely imprisoned for crimes they did not commit. 

Compare this is to the Saw films where the characters are trapped in a series of hellish games as punishment for taking their lives for granted. This specific reason does give you some reason to care about the characters. The same doesn't quite happen here.

As it stood, the characters were all unlikeable in their own ways. Quentin is an autocratic bully, Worth is a pessimistic nihilist, Leaven cries at every obstacle while Holloway is overly-righteous and Rennes is arrogant. Even Kazan seems more like a loose sketch of an autistic character rather than a character in his own right.

It didn't help that the dialogue was incredibly on the nose. Nowhere is this more true than with Quentin. I get it. He's in a claustrophobic environment consumed by paranoia as he desperately tries to escape and avoid being killed by deadly booby-traps. I can understand why he becomes the film's villain, but did we need the constant reminders of everybody's function and purposes? Maurice de Wint's delivery was also over-the-top. I could have done without his incessant gruff demeanour and shouting.

As the film progresses, he becomes more antagonistic while Worth and Leaven go through more of a hero's arc - I did find myself warming to them as the film progressed. Considering the film was made on a small budget with unknown actors and a handful of sets, it certainly could have been a lot worse. It also could have been a lot better.

Death at a Funeral review

 Number 915 on the top 1000 films of all time is the British black-comedy drama 'Death at a Funeral.'

Daniel (Matthew Mcfayden) and Robert (Rupert Graves) are two squabbling brothers attending their father's funeral. They are part of a larger dysfunctional family who have to settle their differences. Peter Dinklage, Ewen Bremner, Alan Tudyk, Peter Vaughn and Keeley Hawes all co-star.

This is an entertaining or not outstanding comedy that encapsulates the pitch-black humour that the UK is so well-known for. It certainly elicited a number of chuckles but it isn't laughing-in-the-aisles funny. Much of the humour comes from the dysfunctional nature of the family - in particularly Uncle Alfie (Peter Vaughn.) He is a wheel-chair bound OAP with a foul mouth.

The vulgar, crude pensioner who doesn't care what anybody thinks is a cliched character, but it's still entertaining to watch. That is especially true when you have Peter Vaughn in the role. There was some proper gross-out humour that would not fly in a Hollywood production.

What you would see in an American film is Alan Tudyk's character of Simon. Granted, Simon is English with Alan Tudyk doing a passable English accent, but he very much seemed to be based on the over-the-top American comedy that the Yanks seem to love so much. To help calm his nerves about the funeral, his fiancee, and Daniel's cousin, Martha (Daisy Donovan) gives him a valium. Except it isn't a valium, but an experimental hallucinogen.

In his drug-altered state, he knocks open the coffin spilling the family's dead patriarch onto the floor. But, worse, he later strips naked and climbs onto the roof of the building. It was all very over-exaggerated - I think the writers were playing up the hallucinogenic symptoms for comedy purposes, but it all became quite silly.

Yet the film also possessed a lot of heart with the character of Daniel who is struggling to step out of his more successful brother's shadow. Matthew Mcfayden did well bringing some much-needed gravitas to the more farcical proceedings. We definitely needed this sobering contrast especially when Frank (Peter Dinklage) reveals a dark secret about he and Daniel's father. This all culminates when Daniel gives a spontaneous, but heart-felt eulogy about his father.

Death at a Funeral was certainly not the funniest film I've ever seen, but it was definitely charming enough to earn its place on this list.

A Bridge too Far review

 Number 886 on the top 1000 films of all time is Richard Attenborough's 1977 epic war film 'A Bridge too Far.'

A Bridge too Far tells the true story of the Second World War operation Market Garden - an ambitious, if ultimately failed, attempt of the allies to create a salient in the Nazi-occupied Netherlands. The large ensemble cast includes James Caan, Sean Connery, Michael Caine, Anthony Hopkins, Laurence Olivier, Gene Hackman, Robert Redford and Maximilan Schell. 

Would it be fair to say that this film goes a "bridge too far?" At three hours long, some would probably have that judgement. It is a fair judgement to make. However, I think that compared to most three-hour long films it is paced incredibly well. Compared to some three-hour films, *cough cough* Gone with the Wind, it was engrossing from start to finish. 

Anybody who knows military history knows that Operation Market Garden was a massive failure that extended the war by another seven or eight months, yet it was still interesting seeing how the Allies' overconfidence proved to be their ultimate downfall.

One common flaw I find in war films with large ensemble casts is that the characters become indistinguishable from one another. They are all soldiers dressed in the same uniforms so they all look the same. things can become confusing after a while, but that wasn't the case here.

I think that was because the three-hour run time gave the film the time it needed to breathe. We didn't get any rushed character development. Instead, each character was given the time they deserved. And that allowed the actors to do the best they could. Also, let's talk about the incredible cast. There were no less than seven Oscar winners including Anthony Hopkins, Sean Connery, Michael Caine and Gene Hackman. And there wasn't a weak link in the cast. Gene Hackman was particularly good as the cynical and jaded Polish Major General Sosabowski - we just won't talk about his accent.

Only six years Richard Attenborough won an Oscar for directing Gandhi, but A Bridge Too Far displayed his early promise as one of the best film-directors of his generation. Contrary to many film critics, I quite enjoyed A Bridge too Far. I didn't find it too long or lacking at all.

Much Ado about Nothing (1993) review

 Number 858 on the top 1000 films of all time is Kenneth Branagh's 1993 adaptation of William Shakespeare's play 'Much Ado about Nothing.'

Don Pedro (Denzel Washington) and his noblemen Benedick and (Kenneth Branagh) Claudio (Robert Sean Leonard) are visiting their friend Leonato (Richard Briers) in Messina Sicily, after having crushed a rebellion by Pedro's half-brother Don John (Keanu Reeves.) In Messina, Pedro acts as match-maker, deciding to match Benedick and Leonato's niece Beatrice (Emma Thompson) who both seemingly hate each other. He also decides to match Claudio with Leonato's daughter Hero (Kate Beckinsale.)

Much ado about nothing is the best way to describe this film. It was beyond tedious. Granted, I'm not a Shakespeare fan, so I'm no doubt ignorant of the play's cultural significance. Call me a philistine, but I don't think that Shakespeare translates well to the big screen. At least not in its current form.

With Hamlet, Branagh ripped the dialogue straight from the folios. No doubt he did something similar here, as the dialogue was so expository. And it just went on and on. It was so verbose it was like the characters were reciting the dictionary. Plus Branagh and Thompson monologuing endlessly bored me beyond belief. This might have been okay for the 1500's, but not in 2024. Not even in 1993 when this was released. I'm not saying that I need gunfights and explosions, but I need more drama than Benedick trying and failing to figure out how a deck chair works.

Plus, this dialogue made the film so slow. It crawls toward a conclusion that I couldn't have cared less about - probably because I didn't care about the characters. Maybe if I was seeing it on stage, it would be different. But as I didn't care about the characters, I wasn't at all engrossed in the conflict. I say conflict, but a will they/won't they between either an annoying couple or a soppy one hardly makes the biggest stakes int he world.

It didn't help that Keanu Reeves was positively awful as Don John. True, as the villain, he doesn't really do much. He does some scheming in the shadows, promptly disappears, only to be caught and smirk at the camera at the end of the film. But Reeves never looked comfortable with the Shakespearean dialogue. No wonder he got a Razzie nomination.

I'm sure there are some Harold Bloom types out there ready to denounce me as a philistine, but this film was really much ado about nothing.

Transamerica review

 Number 834 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 2005 comedy-drama 'Transamerica'.

Sabrina "Bree" Osborne (Felicity Huffman) is a transwoman in Los Angeles who is soon going to have surgery to fully complete her transition. However, a week beforehand, she discovers that she has a son Toby (Kevin Zegers) who has just been arrested in New York City. He prostitutes himself to feed his drug habit. Bree flies to New York to bail him out of jail with the intention of driving him back to the West Coast.

Can we just discuss the Felicity Huffman shaped elephant in the room. I question whether she was miscast. I don't mean how she as a cis-woman was cast as a trans character - this was the early noughties after all. But I found it strange that a woman, full stop, was playing a trans woman. It would have made more sense to have cast a man in the past. At the very least they wouldn't have needed to worry about a prosthetic penis.

Having said that, Felicity Huffman was good as Bree. She endeared the character with a lot of humanity. But also a lot of resolution. Despite the protestations of her mother, she is sure of who she is and what she wants. And that's to complete her surgery. Yet she is also internally conflicted, determined to keep her true identity to Toby a secret.

Kevin Zegers was equally good as Toby. He is your standard emotionally confused and frustrated teenager. But he is also effectively an orphan who never had any proper parents to take care of him. When he discovers that Bree has lied to him, in more than one way, he initially rejects her, before slowly changing his mind.

I think the two were great together. They had good chemistry, as two people who were just trying their best to make things work. I've heard some who would class this as a road film, which would be an accurate description. Over the long drive back to LA, the two discover a lot about each other.

This was a powerful and sensitive character drama that earned Felicity Huffman her only Oscar nod. Since her involvement in the college admissions scandal, I don't think she'll be getting anymore anytime soon.

The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert review

 Number 826 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 1994 Australian road-comedy film 'the Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert.'

Adam "Felicia" Whitely (Guy Pearce) and Anthony "Mitzi" Belrose (Hugo Weaving) are two drag queens in Sydney Australia. Joined by their transsexual friend Bernadette (Terrence Stamp,) the three embark on an epic road trip to Alice Springs under the promise of a new show. They travel in a bus they name Priscilla. Along the way they discover new things about themselves and each other.

This was a quiet, but powerful film about a topic that you wouldn't have often seen in 1990's cinema. This and Philadelphia are the only 90's films that I can think of that so brilliantly tackle the theme of LGBTQ+ identity. In fact, Priscilla was lauded for its positive portrayal of the LGBTQ+ community. It would have been all too easy to have mischaracterised the characters as either gross cartoons or helpless victims, but Felicia, Mitzi and Bernadette are neither.

They are all fully fleshed-out humans with their own flaws and imperfections. Yes, they have all experienced traumatic events yet they stay positive. This is no more evident than with Adam who gets his own back on his abusive uncle by trapping his ping pongs in a bath drain. Far from being a victim, he has lots of agency. And when he adopts his Felicia persona, he becomes larger-than-life. Yes, he is obnoxious and annoying, but that's supposed to be the point. He is unapologetically himself.

This contrasts with the transsexual Bernadette who is more reserved and cynical about life. But like everybody else she is just looking for acceptance which she eventually finds in her love interest of Bob. Terrence Stamp was excellent in the role.

Mitzi is somewhere in-between the two, often acting as a mediator to their quarrelsome ways. If anything it showed the versatility of Hugo Weaving. A few years later, he would go onto play the bad guy in the Matrix and then the elf-lord Elrond in the Lord of the Rings. The same can be said for Guy Pearce who has played a range of characters.

Along the way, the trio experience horrific trans/homophobic abuse - again these themes were tackled with care and sensitivity. But there was also plenty of laughs to stop things getting too dour like with Bob's mail-order Filipina wife. And, of course, the costumes were just brilliant. No wonder it won the best Costume Design Oscar.

I did enjoy Priscilla. If I were to describe it in three words, it would be "absolutely fabulous, darling."