Blue Velvet Review

Number 471 on the top 1000 films of all time is David Lynch's neo-noir mystery thriller 'Blue Velvet.'

Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan) is a recent college graduate who is returning home. When he discovers a severed ear in his garden, he is thrown into a dark world involving the night-club singer Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rosselini) and psychotic drug dealer Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper.)

When you think of David Lynch, you think of dark, abstract and surreal. When you think of noir films, you think of over-complicated, convoluted films. Thankfully Blue Velvet was relatively straightforward lacking any of the backwards-speaking and red rooms that made Twin Peaks such an enigmatic watch. If anything, David Lynch was just warming up here for his seminal TV show. Don't get me wrong, Blue Velvet was still weird, but it was nowhere near as weird as it could have been.

It helped that you had the excellent Dennis Hopper playing Frank Booth. Some might argue that he was so over-the-top, but this is what made him so scary. You never knew what he was going to do next. And this unpredictability made him such a terrifying villain. Yet Hopper kept the character incredibly grounded. He brought an electric energy to the role.

Praise should also be given to Isabella Rosselini. She was playing the tragic character of Dorothy Vallens helping her to revitalise her flagging career. But with good reason. She was great as the emotionally damaged cabaret singer who had fallen victim to Frank Booth's violent tendencies.

While Lynch was warming up for Twin Peaks, Kyle MacLachlan was doing the same for detective Dale Cooper in Twin Peaks. Kyle was good as well. But I think Lynch was the true star here, crafting a memorable, if weird thriller that was an intense and gripping watch, with a great performance by Dennis Hopper.  

Memories of Murder review

 Number 213 on the top 1000 films of all time is the Bong Jong-Hoo's 2003 South Korean neo-noir crime thriller 'Memories of Murder.'

Park Doo-man (Song Kang-ho) and Kim Roi-ha (Cho Yong-koo) are police detectives in 1986 Hwaseong who are investigating a string of grisly rapes and murders. They are soon joined by the Seoul hotshot Seo Tae-yoon (Kim Sang-kyung.)

This was a convincing thriller. It was tense, gripping with plenty of plot-twists along the way. Granted it was complicated and convoluted at times, but as such is the nature with these films. Bong makes great use of the weather and music to really up the tension. There were great sequences like when the detectives chase a suspect through the backstreets of Hwaseong.

As is common for thrillers, many of the key scenes took place at night and in the pouring rain, which certainly built the suspense. And one of the biggest clues that cracks the case is a radio song that is always requested to play while the murders take place.

However, there was something stopping me from really engaging with it and that was the interpersonal dynamics between Park, Kim and Seo. Their constant unprofessionalism and squabbling really got on my nerves after a while. I get it. Park and Kim are resentful of having an outsider come help them. They neither want or need their help, but for the greater good they must work together. It is quickly implied that Park and Kim are out of their depths. Their small police department doesn't have the resources or funds to successfully complete this investigation.

But their constant in-fighting made them seem incredibly amateurish. I had no confidence that they would find the true killer especially when they resort to beating confessions out of their suspects. I get that they're from the school of flawed, psychologically-damaged, rough-around-the-edges, willing to break the rules to get the job done, police detectives, but it was all too much. They weren't very likeable and I wasn't too bothered if they would successfully apprehend the killer. Rather than catching the killer, they just get even more people killed like their initial suspect.

And *spoilers*

they don't. Despite having three key suspects, including the most likely candidate Park Hyeon-gu, the case remains frustratingly unsolved. Having the killer escape was refreshing to see. In many thrillers, it's expected that after some ordeals and struggles, the cops would eventually catch the murderer and everything would wrap up nicely. Maybe not with a pretty pink bow, but nicely enough. However, that isn't the case here. And I quite liked this ending. It felt painfully realistic. Sadly, in real life, many murders do go unsolved, because the killers are never caught. They do escape.

Despite the rather unlikeable main characters, I still think Memories of Murder is worth a watch. It's a gripping thriller with a refreshing ending.

Lucky Number Slevin review

 Number 504 on the top 1000 films of all time is Paul McGuigan's 2006 neo-noir thriller 'Lucky Number Slevin.'

Slevin Kelevra (Josh Hartnett) is a victim of mistaken identity. Believed to be his friend Nicky, he is thrust into a war between two mob bosses - the Boss (Morgan Freeman) and the Rabbi (Ben Kingsley.) This is all while Slevin tries to evade the ruthless hitman Goodkat (Bruce Willis.) Together with the love interest and coroner Lindsey (Lucy Liu.) Slevin has to survive however he can. But all is not what it seems.

The general problem with the noir and, by extension, neo-noir films is that they are so overly-convoluted. The Big Sleep is notorious for its incomprehensible plot. Lucky Number Slevin is no exception. Major spoilers lie ahead.

Things are all relatively straightforward until the film's conclusion where everything is explained in the most complicated way possible. Slevin has actually been playing both mob bosses against in each other. This is to take revenge for how they murdered his father when Slevin was a child. To top everything off, a corrupt cop Brikowski (Stanley Tucci) murdered Slevin's mother. And, of course, he is the cop investigating the Boss and the Rabbi. Naturally he comes under Slevin's radar too.

This was a contrivance too far. I don't see why they had any reason to connect Brikowski with the main pot. it was all so unnecessary. Plus Slevin was supposed to be killed at the same time at his parents. Carrying out the hit was none other than the ruthless Goodkat who spares Slevin as he is a hitman who has suddenly developed a conscience because of ... reasons. And then Goodkat becomes a mentor to Slevin helping him to take revenge.

And despite having some major acting talent, Kingsley and Freeman are both Oscar winners, none of the characters were particularly memorable. Maybe that's because the characters weren't particularly memorable.

Although the mistaken identity element did produce some funny parts earlier on, the overall convoluted plot and one-dimensional characters made this an unenjoyable watch.

Running Scared review

 Number 849 on the top 1000 films of all time is the neo-noir crime thriller 'Running Scared.'

Joey Gazelle (Paul Walker) is a low-level mafioso present at a drug-deal gone wrong. A group of masked, dirty cops turn up and a shoot-out happens. Gazelle and his other mobsters shoot dead all the cops. Gazelle is then tasked with hiding the gun. He takes it home and hides it in the basement. It is later discovered by his son Nicky (Alex Neuberger) and his son's best friend Oleg Yugorsky (Cameron Bright.) Oleg steals the gun and uses it to shoot his abusive, Russian mobster stepfather Anzor Yugorsky (Karel Roden.) Gazelle is in a race against time to find Oleg and the gun before his mob, the Russian mob and the corrupt coppers.

Who decided this should be on the top 1000 films of all time? Was it a group of twelve-year-old boys? Because it looked like it had been written, filmed, edited and directed by a group of twelve-year-old boys. It was all so immature and juvenile. I'm talking gratuitous violence, cliched characters, absurd plot developments, ridiculous action scenes, terrible dialogue, objectified women - Joey's wife Teresa (Vera Farmiga) spent much of the film with her thong poking out of her jeans - and the effects, filters and grainy colour scheme that look like they're out of a 90's rap video.

Let's break these down in more detail. The film starts badly with the drug-deal going wrong. The corrupt coppers turn up and the violence ramps up. Gangsters and ex-coppers are flying across the screen in slow-motion. We see bloody mists and weird filters. It all just looked ridiculous. But this was nothing compared to the final sequence where Gazelle confronts the Russian and Italian mob at an ice-hockey stadium. The Russians hold him down on the rink and have one of their players shoot pucks at his face until he tells them what he wants to know. It was all just so laughable. And of course there was another of these stupid filters - this time, a blue-light filter. Eventually this breaks down into another chaotic shoot-out where you have no idea what's happening and don't know who is shooting who.

I did criticise Teresa's character, but that's not a criticism of Farmiga, but rather her writing. She is immediately portrayed as a sex object. Her introduction is her rubbing up against Gazelle on the washing machine with her senile father in the living room and son in her basement. And as previously stated, she then spends the rest of the film with her thong sticking out of jeans. It didn't seem like a very empowering role for Farmiga, but I think she did the best she could. 

In fairness, she did have some agency. It's just a shame it happened with such a crazy plot development. When Oleg is on the run after having shot by his stepfather, he is kidnapped by these two paedophiles Dez Hansel (Bruce Altman) and Edele Hansel (Elizabeth Burke.) They take him to their flat where they're going to film a snuff film. He is later rescued by Teresa who murders the two paedophiles.  But this was just absurd. It comes out of nowhere and the vivid colour scheme didn't fit into the grainy visuals of the rest of the film. Obviously, I'm sure this stuff does happen, but it just didn't fit into the film. I do wish they had given Farmiga much better material. She was very much a cliche.

But so were the rest of the characters. Gazelle is your standard hot-headed mobster, Chaz Palminteri is your corrupt cop and the Italian and Russian mobsters are complete run-of-the-mill. And there was also the weird side character of Lester-the-Pimp. Oleg stumbles upon the pimp abusing one of his workers. He was just another silly addition to an already bloated cast. The only character I really felt any sympathy for was Oleg's mother Mila (Ivana Milicevic.) Unlike most of the other characters she actually had some depth. She worked as a prostitute in Moscow before her pimp brought her to the United States. After getting pregnant, she is told to abort her child. She refuses and her pimp sends Anzor to kill her. Instead he marries her. Unlike everybody else, I actually felt sorry for her.

The ending was also super cheesy. There is a fake-out death with Joey Gazelle. He and Farmiga share lots of tears, but I didn't feel anything. Both characters were complete cliches and it didn't help that he and Farmiga lacked any real chemistry. Other than them having sex and yelling at each other, you never see any real relationship or any reason why you should root for them.

I've been working through this list for years now and I've seen a lot of films that I can acknowledge as being good films in their own right, but not for me. Running Scared is one of the first films I've watched that I can say was objectively bad.