Despicable Me 2 Review

 Number 733 on the top 1000 films of all time is the computer-animated comedy Despicable Me 2.

Former supervillain Gru (Steve Carell) is now a loving father to his three adoptive daughters. However, he is tempted into becoming a hero by secret agent Lucy Wilde (Kristen Wiig) when the mutagen PX41 is stolen from the Arctic Circle. This all forms part of a greater plan when it is revealed that supervillain El Macho (Benjamin Bratt) stole the mutagen in his scheme for world domination.

I liked this film as much as I liked its predecessor which is very little at all. It had all of the same weaknesses as the first Despicable Me. The humour wasn't even juvenile. It was infantile. There was an over-reliance on poop and fart jokes. I get that this is family-friendly. I get that it's meant for kids. But there is more to entertaining kids than poop and fart jokes. Usually in family-friendly films like in Disney Pixar while there are silly jokes for kids, there are lots of jokes that only adults are meant to get. But there was none of that in Despicable Me 2. Just juvenile humour and Steve Carell being Steve Carell.

I don't know why he's doing a silly voice with a silly accent. And I don't know why he has to do it throughout the whole film. It became very old very quickly. I get why this is a children's film. It has bright, eye-popping animation, lots of idiotic humour and cute little minions, but there is little substance for anybody older than the age of ten. The storyline was predictable, the voice performances were forgettable and, even the minions, who have gone onto become the mascots of this franchise became very tedious after a while.

Yes, I'm being a grumpy old man. But this grumpy old man did not like this film at all. It was despicable.

Despicable Me review

 Number 609 on the top 1000 films of all time is the animated comedy film Despicable Me. 

Gru (Steve Carell) is a supervillain who has been usurped by his younger rival Vector (Jason Segel.) With the help of his elderly assistant Dr Nefario (Russell Brand) and his legion of yellow minions, he aims to regain his reputation in the supervillain world by stealing the moon. However, this plan is complicated by his begrudging adoption of three little girls whom he starts to deeply care for.

I didn't like this film at all. Granted, I'm not the target market; this film is meant for kids. With its eye-popping visuals and bright, vivid colours, it is sure to be appealing for younger audiences. Beyond the visual flair was juvenile, immature humour, a cheesy storyline and an over-the-top performance by Steve Carell. 

I can understand that as a child fart and poop jokes are the pinnacle of humour, but as an adult I would be expecting something a little more refined. I wouldn't have minded one or two of these kind of jokes, but not a constant, never-ending onslaught. The humour became rather tedious after a while.

As did the entire film. It was a predictable run-of-the-mill affair. We are introduced to a seemingly villainous character who we find out isn't as villainous as we first thought as they have a soft-spot for orphans. He misses an event that is very important to them and supposedly has ruined their relationship only to go through a redemption arc at the end. This kind of storyline would have made more sense if we were watching a dark or an anti-hero character, but not a self-confessed supervillain. Do we really want to see our villains be redeemed?

While I do think Steve Carell is a capable dramatic actor, he is woefully over-the-top when it comes to comedy. The silly voice and accent he did for Gru was completely unnecessary and it became very annoying after a while. He is a physically expressive actor and I could see him trying (and failing) to inject this same physical humour into this animated role.

Maybe if I was a kid I would have really liked this film, but I really did not care for it.

Catch me if you Can review

 Number 371 on the top 1000 films of all time is Steven Spielberg's biographical comedy-drama 'Catch me if you Can.'

Based on a true story, Frank Abagnale Jr (Leonardo Dicaprio) was one of the most successful con-men and check forgers in history. All before his 19th birthday, he claimed to pose as a Pan-Am pilot, a doctor and a lawyer. Tom Hanks plays Carl Hanratty - the FBI agent tasked with tracking him down. Christopher Walken plays Frank Abagnale Sr and Amy Adams stars as Frank's girlfriend and later wife Brenda Strong.

This is a film that left very little impression on me. And that's surprising considering that it has serious star power. For one it's directed by Steven Spielberg. But it also stars Leonardo Dicaprio and Tom Hanks. By 2002, Spielberg had already built up a pretty impressive resume with hard-hitting dramas like Schindler's List or the Color Purple, but arguably he was best known for his blockbusters like Jaws, Indiana Jones or Jurassic Park. And in comparison, Catch me if you Can just fell flat. There was never the same sense of dramatic tension or immediacy. 

Perhaps that's through the way the story was structured. The film opens with Carl Hanratty arriving in a Marseille prison to collect Frank Abagnale Jr in order to extradite him back to the US to face punishment. I guess anybody who knows the true story would already know how everything ends, but for viewers like me, it felt like they were unnecessarily giving the game away. Any narrative tension had immediately dissipated, because we know that somewhere down the line Carl does catch Frank. Considering how brash and brazen Frank's schemes become, it only makes sense that he would be caught, but it would have been more exciting if there was a possibility that Frank might escape. I know that the thrill is in the chase and not the capture, but the chase wasn't that thrilling.

And none of the lead cast were that electrifying either. Dicaprio, Walken and Tom Hanks have four acting Oscars between them. Amy Adams has been nominated for six Oscars. We all know that they're great actors, but I wouldn't say any of them particularly shone. It just seemed like they were all just turning up, even Dicaprio wasn't as good as I thought he would be.

Catch me if you Can is by no means a bad film or one of the worst films I've seen on this list, but it wasn't nearly as memorable as I thought it would be. 

The Goonies review

Number 519 on the top 1000 films of all time is the adventure-comedy the Goonies.

The Goonies are a gang of misfits in Oregon. They are led by the asthmatic Mikey Walsh (Sean Astin) and consist of "Chunk" (Jeff Cohen,) the poison-tongued "Mouth" (Corey Feldman) and amateur gadgeteer "Data" (Jonathan Ke Huy Quan.) When they find a treasure map in their house, they set off to find it, but little do they know that the Fratelli crime family is also looking for the treasure.

This had all the hallmarks of a coming-of-age drama - a pre-teen cast, adult villains, a magical plot and lots of practical effects, but it lacked all the comedy, soul and charm of its contemporaries. Stand By Me, also starring Corey Feldman, is one that comes to mind. Even though, it was billed as a comedy it just wasn't that funny. A lot of humour seemed juvenile and billed toward a much younger audience than myself. You had Chunk doing a silly dance to gain entry to the clubhouse or literal toilet humour when a jet of water from a toilet lifts a man into the air.  

Much of the dialogue seemed very contrived and forced especially from the female characters "Andy" (Kerri Green) and Stef (Martha Plimpton.) Andy is the love interest of Mikey's older brother and Stef is her best friend. But neither girl did little more than scream or give snide comments to the boys. And many of these problems stem from Chris Columbus' script and Richard Donner's poor direction. It really seemed like the kids had little direction other than to talk over one another. I am reminded of critic Colin Greenland's assessment of the film: "The Goonies I was unable to enjoy because of a bunch of kids yelling and screaming all the way through. Not the audience, the actors." The constant screaming became tedious after a while and it made things difficult to follow.

This was a shame as there is some big acting talent in this film. Corey Feldman was great in Stand by Me and Sean Astin went onto star in the Lord of the Rings Franchise. Despite Ke Huy Quan taking a break from acting, he starred in the one of the biggest films of 2022: Everything Everywhere all at Once. 

Another big problem of this film was that the villains had no menace at all. Kiefer Sutherland made a great villain in Stand By Me, because he was scary. We see him play mailbox baseball, chicken with other road users and he even threatens our heroes with a flick knife. Conversely, the Fratelli family sing opera and squabble amongst each other. Joe Pantoliano played one of these villains, but he is also known for the traitorous Cypher in the Matrix and the slimy Ralph Cifaretto in The Sopranos. He is great in both these roles, so it was a shame his talent was squandered so much here.

But the biggest problem of this coming-of-age drama was that there was no maturation. The characters didn't grow or change at all. They start and end in the same place. It doesn't matter what genre your film is, but your characters need to progress by the end of it. That didn't happen here. The Goonies start as misfits and they end as misfits. All of the characters in Stand By Me have traumatic backstories, but their collective experience helps them to overcome this trauma. However, this wasn't the case here. Granted, the asthmatic Mikey casually throws away his inhaler at the end of the film, suggesting his condition was all in his mind, yet we didn't see enough inner conflict to justify such a decision.

If I were to compliment the film for anything it would be its great use of practical effects. I loved seeing all the imaginative and ingenious inventions from Data's cute gadgets to the Indiana Jones-esque booby traps even to the fancy contraption that allows entry to the Goonies' club house. They were all great.

It's safe to say that the Goonies was one of the biggest cult films of the eighties. But it's safer to say that I am never going to become part of this cult.