The Thin Red Line review

 Number 694 on the top 1000 films of all time is Terrence Malik's 1998 epic-war film 'The Thin Red Line.'

During the World War Two battle of Mount Austen, a group of US Army infantry soldiers are tasked with taking a key position of the Guadalcanal campaign which could be the turning point of the war in the Pacific.

I've watched a lot of war films and I don't think I've seen one as slow, badly-paced and boring as the Thin Red Line. It was a blocked, drawn-out affair with an overly-large cast.

I would say it takes a while to get going, but it never truly does. For the first ten minutes, we are introduced to Private Witt (Jim Cavizel) who is frolicking with the Melanesian locals, but we don't have any reason to care about them at this point. It is only after the ten minute mark do we see any whisper of conflict where Sergeant Welsh (Sean Penn) tells off Witt for going AWOL.

Thirty minutes later, the soldiers go to the war. Seriously. It's a war film and we don't see any war until well over the forty-minute mark. It's a far-cry from the storming of the beaches in Normandy depicted at the start of Saving Private Ryan.

The Thin Red Line also suffered from a severe lack of main characters or any characters to root for. Sean Penn received star-billing as Sergeant Welsh, so you would think he's the protagonist, but the he only appears in a handful of scenes. But Private Witt is the first character we're introduced to, so you might be forgiven for thinking he's the main character, but then he goes AWOL for much of the film.  

Private Fife (Adrian Brody) was originally scripted as a key-player, but much of his dialogue was edited out. He only had two or three lines. And while the cast was dominated by high-profile names like George Clooney, John C. Reilly, John Travolta and Woody Harrelson, their roles were little more than cameos. It was all very distracting and it certainly didn't make me care for their characters, which was problematic when they were in battle. I didn't care if they lived or died. If anything I cared more about the poor Japanese soldiers they were killing.

The two most memorable and best performances came from Nick Nolte as Lt. Colonel Gordon Tall and Elias Koteas as Captain James Staros. Having been passed over for promotion multiple times, Colonel Tall sees one last chance for glory by telling Staros to capture a bunker by full-front al assault. However Staros realises the position is heavily guarded and he refuses to send his men to die, leading to a huge confrontation between him and Tall. Although their conflict only lasts for a few scenes, it was one of the most interesting and dramatic.

Much of the rest was spent hearing random voiceovers of random characters all philosophising about the meaning of war. It all became very pretentious especially since there's no rhyme or reason as to why these characters are giving voiceovers at that particular time.

Terrence Malik was ruthless with his editing, not only vastly reducing Adrian Brody's role, but also cutting out other roles completely - Mickey Rourke was supposed to appear, but only does so in deleted scenes. I do think the film was overly-edited; it is an incohesive mess of random scenes and characters thrown together without any clear storyline.

Big surprise. I did not care for the Thin Red Line. Not only was it pretentious and bloated, but it was also something a film should never be and that's boring.

Michael Clayton review

 Number 977 on the top 1000 films of all time is the legal thriller 'Michael Clayton.'

Michael Clayton (George Clooney) is the fixer for a prestigious New York law film who is representing the agricultural conglomerate U-North amid a massive scandal. However, when the firm's lead litigator Arthur (Tom Wilkinson) has a massive breakdown, it's up to Michael to clean up the mess. However, he soon discovers his firm is at the centre of a huge cover-up. Sydney Pollack and Tilda Swinton co-star.

Michael Clayton was nominated for no less than seven Oscars including best acting, writing and film. While it wasn't a bad film, it certainly wasn't Oscar-worthy. Nor was it worth a place on this list.

It was an underwhelming affair, replete in dramatic tension, suspense and any concrete detail that would have made it an entertaining thriller. The narrative focusses on U-North as it weathers allegations on whether it knew that its carcinogenic weedkiller would lead to hundreds of deaths. Sounds like a horrific scandal, right?

But the details of this were kept surprisingly vague. It was treated very clinically. Perhaps because we were seeing everything through the eyes of lawyers who were more interested in the legal nitty gritty rather than the actual victims of the scandal. This film was definitely missing a lot of heart.

And while I don't want to diminish any of the immense acting talent on display, I don't think George Clooney or Tom Wilkinson deserved Oscar nods and I don't think Tilda Swinton deserved her Best Supporting Actress win. I don't think I can pin-point an exact moment where I thought, "wow, that's why she won the Oscar." Furthermore, all three of their characters remained very under-developed.

Michael Clayton is a little more than your standard male lead who has an acrimonious relationship with his wife and son. And while Arthur's meltdown catalysed the film, we never really explored the reasons or causes of it. Tilda Swinton's character was similarly under-developed.

I'm really not sure how Michael Clayton made it onto this list. It certainly was not one of the best films of all time. 

Up in the Air review

 Number 827 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 2009 comedy-drama 'Up in the Air.'

Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is the man you call when you want to fire somebody but you aren't brave enough to do it yourself. He flies around the US letting people go. However, his own job is threatened when his company hires young upstart Natalie (Anna Kendrick) who proposes the company moves to firing people via video-conferencing rendering Ryan obsolete.

Losing your job is a horribly relatable experience for many people, myself included. Thankfully, it didn't result in me losing much more than my job, but for some people it is much worse. Up in the Air succeeded in conveying a truly authentic experience. Part of that was down to the very good decision to invite real-life firees to play the characters that Ryan and Natalie terminate. They were told to react either how they did on the day or to say what they wish they had said at the time. And this helped to keep things very realistic. 

Ryan Bingham is a very superficial character. He lives a transitory experience with little concern about the people he lets go, as long as he gets his frequent flier miles. But he goes through a nice redemption arc partially thanks to Natalie, but also due to his casual lover Alex (Vera Farmiga) who convinces him that he wants something more than his superficial experience. Vera Farmigia is a much better actress than films like Running Scared gives her credit for. It's nice she is getting the recognition she deserves. In fact, she earned an Oscar nod as did Clooney and Kendrick.

Up in the Air was a surprisingly grounded portrayal of the human condition. It was sensitive toward those being fired, but it also made Ryan Bingham - a character that by all accounts we should hate, very likeable. Of course it helps when you have him played by an actor as charming as George Clooney. Natalie also had the potential to be annoying, but you can see she's just a misguided kid trying to make a difference.

Up in the Air was a very enjoyable film. It blended drama and comedy into an entertaining watch.

The Descendants review

 Number 939 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 2011 comedy-drama 'The Descendants.'

Matt King (George Clooney) is an Hawaii-based attorney. While he is the sole trustee of his family's massive fortune, he has a strained relationship with his wife and children. When his wife is terminally injured in a boating accident, he has to reconnect with his estranged daughters: the older Alex (Shailene Woodley) and the younger Scottie (Amara Miller.) Both girls have troubled pasts.

The Descendants was penned by Nat Faxon, Jim Rash and director Alexander Payne. The former two also wrote and directed the great coming-of-age drama The Way, Way Back. Faxon and Rash produced another entertaining and enjoyable film. Although it had the potential to be morose and whiny, it was light-hearted, but poignant throughout. A lot of that has to do with the film's tone. The film is full of great jokes while also addressing serious topics. Family is the most important theme whether that is Matt's relationship with his estranged children or his relationship with his cousins who have all squandered their inheritance and are desperate for them to sell their land to make them a tidy profit. 

But despite these pressures, he is never a self-suffering protagonist. He always tries to do the right thing and, while, he has every right to be mad at the driver of the boat who injured his wife, he always chooses to take the high road. He is also an honest character - constantly despairing about how to connect with his children. Even when Alex reveals that Matt's wife was having an affair with an estate agent called Brian (Matthew Lilliard), explaining some of the resentment between the two, Matt just wants to give Brian a chance to say goodbye.

George Clooney was great as Matt King. He made the attorney sympathetic without making him pathetic. In fact, it's his hope and optimism that makes him such an endearing character to watch. He also had a great chemistry with Shailene Woodley and Amara Miller who played his daughters. It was lovely watching these three characters become a family again. Woodley and Miller were great as well. Granted both of them start as spoiled brats, but they both develop into strong, young women especially Alex. Woodley gave the character a wonderful vulnerability and she held her own against Clooney. She would have been only twenty in this role and she's since gone onto have a great career.

Nat Faxon, Alexander Payne and Jim Rash won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for this film, and it's easy to see why. Within the Descendants, they crafted an enjoyable, funny, and, at times, tragic story, that is never self-pitying or morose.

Fantastic Mr Fox review

 Number 496 on the top 1000 films of all time is Wes Anderson's animated comedy Fantastic Mr Fox.

Based on Roald Dahl's 1970 story, Fantastic Mr Fox follows Foxy Fox (George Clooney) who regularly thieves from three farmers: Boggis (Robin Hurlstone,) Bunce (Hugo Guiness) and Bean (Michael Gambon.) These farmers swear revenge on Foxy Fox endangering him, his wife Felicity (Meryl Streep) and his family and friends.

This was a stop-motion film and the animation was absolutely gorgeous. I loved the rich Autumnal colour schemes. The colour truly popped. All the different animals looked adorable too from Foxy Fox to his badger lawyer voiced by Bill Murray to the villainous rat voiced by Willem Defoe.

However, this star-studded cast and lovely animation wasn't enough to stop this ultimately being a film made for kids. I was hoping that it would be a family friendly film that would appeal to children and parents alike a la Monsters Inc or Toy Story, but this really was meant for little children. And that did hurt its watchability factor. Maybe I'm just a grumpy old man, but maybe it was seemingly obvious that this film was always meant for kids. Children would love the bright colour scheme and the adorable animal characters.

Nevertheless, the conflicts were very juvenile such as the subplot of Mr Fox's son Ash Fox and his rivalry with his cousin Kristofferson. Ash feels threatened and jealous of his seemingly perfect cousin. This is a subplot that would be obviously appealing to little kids but not grumpy, old curmudgeons like me. All the violence bordered on cartoonish, like Mr Fox and his oppossum sidekick climbing up an electric fence. With every climb, the electric shocks x-ray their entire bodies. 

And a lot of the dialogue was contrived. It didn't seem natural and I think that some of that was down to George Clooney himself. I noticed that in a lot of conversations Mr Fox had with his son there were these strange hesitations at the end of each line. You could argue that, at first, this signifies their strained relationship. But their relationship fixes throughout the film, so why are there still the strange hesitations?

I think if I was twenty years younger I would have loved this film, but, now,  I'm far too much of a grumpy old man. It was good as far as it went, but that wasn't very far at all.

Oh Brother Where Art Thou review

 Number 472 on the top 1000 films of all time is the Coen Brother's comedy-drama Oh Brother Where Art Thou.

Inspired by Homer's the Odyssey, three convicts Ulysses 'Everett' Mcgill (George Clooney,) Pete (John Turtorro) and Delmar Mcdonnell (Tim Blake Nelson) escape from their chain gang in Mississippi to find the treasure that leader Everett hid before he was sent to prison. Hijinks and shenanigans ensue.

This is the third Coen brothers' film I've seen after Fargo and the Big Lebowski, and this has to be the most surreal yet. And I'm going to come out and sat it, the Coen brothers are too surreal for me. Oh Brother Where Art Thou is pretty weird from the heroes meeting Baby face Nelson to the valley flooding saving them from being remanded to prison. And apparently this wasn't deux ex machina as Mcgill constantly references how the valley will be flooded. But what does this all mean? Nothing probably, which I imagine is the point. 

Having said that, the film produces some genuine laughs and scares. We quickly realise that Everett is the brains of the operation, manipulating the weaker-minded Pete and Delmar to help him achieve his true objective. Along the way, they are lured away by sirens who drug and rob them and supposedly turn Pete into a toad. Of course this wasn't the case, but seeing Delmar's distress was very funny to watch.

Later on, they meet one-eyed bible salesman, Big Dan Teague (John Goodman) who squishes the supposed Pete the Toad and then beats Delmar and Everett and robs what little they have left. While he is beating Delmar, Everett nonchalantly asks him what's wrong. This kind of off-beat humour made the film very comical.

Yet it was also scary. The trio crash a KKK rally, just as they are about to perform a lynching. But the whole sequence was freaky from the Grand Wizard spouting his nonsense to the burning crosses and the ritualistic chanting. It was an abstract and disturbing spectacle.

My favourite part of the film had to be the music. Arranged by T-Bone Burnett, who later famously scored the television series True Detective, we're treated to period-specific music ranging from blues to country to folk. Most of the music is worked into the actual narrative giving the film a great authenticity, which also complimented the autumnal sepia-tone. 

The three leads, to get some quick cash, form a music group along with a Robert Johnson wannabe, and produce a record, quickly becoming local celebrities. Although all the actors were dubbed, it was great fun to see them perform. But I also loved all the gospel and blues music from the chain gang singing at the beginning to the congregation singing their hymns when Pete is baptised. And, of course, I'm not the only one who loved this music as the soundtrack won the Grammy for album of the year.

Overall while this film was entertaining with an award-winning soundtrack, it was just too damn weird for me.