The Hostile Hospital Review

The Bad Beginning Review

The Reptile Room Review

The Wide Window Review

The Miserable Mill Review

The Austere Academy review

The Ersatz Elevator review

Dear Reader,

if you think that after seven installments, the lives of the Baudelaires would have improved, then you are sorely wrong.  Within this sorry episode, the Baudelaires encounter fire, mysteries and a severe amount of paperwork.  There is very little happiness or joy in this episode and so I beg you to read a review of a happier TV series.

It's safe to say that after the Vile Village, the Baudelaires are at the lowest they've ever been.  Not only have they been separated from the Quagmires, but they have also been framed for murder.  In the last episode, we saw Count Olaf capture Jacques Snicket and trick everyone into thinking Snicket was Olaf, before murdering him and framing the Baudelaires.

From here the Baudelaires go on the lam, a phrase which here means, they have to go on the run from the law.  They run away from the Village of Fowl Devotees, where they then encounter the Last Chance General Store in the middle of the desolate wastelands.  And they meet none other than Count Olaf there.  I've said this before but having Count Olaf appear right at the beginning of the episode is becoming a tired motif.

The best villains are ones who are unpredictable and the fact that we can bank on Olaf appearing at the start of every episode makes him predictable and thus boring.  He's quickly losing his menace.  Anyway, he gives chase to the Baudelaires who only escape by virtue of the VFD or Volunteers Fighting Disease.  This group of hippies believe that singing and positive thinking is the best way to get better.  The VFD were a great installment - a rare bit of light relief in a program that was getting even darker.  I also think they served to criticise anti-vaccinators or critics of modern medicine, claiming that it's a business designed to make money for the company fat cats.

The parody continues when VFD takes the Baudelaires to the Heimlich Hospital - an underfunded hospital, which prioritises paperwork above all.  From here, it's clear where the satire in this episode lies - of the medical industry in general.  Of hospitals suffering from budget cuts and a greater emphasis on paperwork than patients.  Things are so bad that Heimlich Hospital is only half built and the constructed half has dim lighting and dirty corridors.  It's interesting considering that ASOUE is American where healthcare is privatised.  You'd expect these types of hospitals in countries such as Britain, where I'm based, where the desperately underfunded NHS is falling apart - only being supported by the countless, hard-working doctors and nurses.

Anyway, when the Baudelaires arrive at the hospital, they meet the severe Babs - the Dean of Medicine.  VFD goes off to start singing to all of the patients, while the Baudelaires go to the Library of Records to find answers to the mysteries surrounding their lives.  From there, they meet the librarian Hal, a kindly and trusting man with poor eyesight.  He is dedicated to filing records, but not to reading them under any circumstances.  

However, hot on their heels are Olaf, Esme Squalor and their henchmen, wearing their ridiculous disguises.  But they're stopped in their tracks by Babs who insists they fill in paperwork, going so far to claim that paperwork makes the money go round.  We also learn a little about Esme Squalor's motivations.  Unlike Olaf who is solely interested in the Baudelaires' fortune, Esme wants the mysterious sugar bowl, which she claims that Beatrice stole from her.  Who is Beatrice? We don't know yet.

From here, Count Olaf devises a plan to incapacitate the mentally unstable Babs in a scene , which wouldn't look out of place in a horror movie.  There were lots of references to famous horror films, but this chase scene was well-shot.  Dim lighting, quirky angles and scary music made for a great little homage to horror films of old.  The scheme works and leaves Olaf in firm control of the hospital.

Having been unable to gain access any files with Hal around, the Baudelaires decide to swap a set of fake keys with Hal's keys and they break into the library at night.  Knowing that Hal trusts them, the Baudelaires wrestle with the immorality of this decision, but they decide this is for the greater good.  This in itself adds a moral dimension to the show.  As book-readers know, as the Baudelaires' situation grows more and more direr, they have to do more immoral things.  But are they doing the wrong things for the right reasons? Are the things they're doing right? Could they ever be right?

They break into the library and discover the Snicket File - an old movie reel where Jacques Snicket reveals he is the brother of the author of ASOUE - Lemony Snicket, and also reveals that there may have been a survivor of a fire.  Which survivor? Which fire? We don't know, as Esme Squalor breaks into the Library of Records and chases after the Baudelaires.  Klaus and Sunny escape, but Violet is caught by Esme and the first part of this episode ends with one of our protagonists in real danger for the first time.  Separating our protagonists is always a good way of raising the stakes, as we get to see how they act when they have to depend on solely themselves.  We also see how far they'll go to become reunited with their family and friends.

And how far do the Baudelaires go? Well, to search for their sister without being spotted, Klaus and Sunny disguise themselves as Doctor Faustus.  While looking for a patient list to find Violet, they meet VFD and then see Count Olaf disguised as a doctor.  There's a great moment where both parties instantly see through each other's disguises, but can't say anything, for fear of revealing themselves to VFD.  However, the Baudelaires do manage to steal Count Olaf's patient list.

Meanwhile, Violet tries escaping with Babs, but they're quickly caught again and Violet is anaesthetised.  While it's nice to see our protagonist take our action, this seemed like a bit of a pointless endeavour, which didn't accomplish anything for the narrative.  

But the two younger Baudelaires realise Violet's name has been written in anagram form and quickly deduce what room she has been hidden on.  However, Olaf has already taken her away for surgery - a cranioectomy, a word which here means, the removal of a head of a teenage girl so that a dastardly villain can steal her fortune, and he requests for none other than Dr Faustus to perform the surgery.  

Playing for time, Klaus begins stalling, recounting his knowledge of knives and surgery.  The ploy keeps everyone distracted enough for him to turn off the anaesthesia, leading to Violet waking up.  Just as it looks like the plan hasn't worked, Klaus claims that the correct paperwork hasn't been filled out, meaning he cannot continue the operation.

However, I think more could have been done to increase the tension of this scene.  As this is a kid's show, it is unlikely that Violet's head would have ever been sawn off, but I think they could have drawn out Klaus' stalling a little more to really amp up the suspense.

Esme Squalor then demands that Klaus gives her item she's been looking for in exchange for Violet's life.  Thinking he means the Snicket File, instead of the Sugar Bowl, he hands it over.  Olaf then reveals Klaus' identity to everyone.  And this is when Hal, having discovered his library being broken into, arrives and begins accusing the Baudelaires.  While this is happening, Olaf watches the Snicket File and discovers there has been a survivor of the fire.  In a fit of rage, he destroys the file, inadvertently setting fire to the whole hospital.

The Baudelaires escape through a window, while being pursued by Olaf's henchperson of an indeterminate gender.  Meanwhile, Olaf and his henchpeople all escape the fire and prepare to drive to safety.  This includes the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender who in the book 

SPOILER ALERT

perishes in the fire.  This was an interesting departure from the book, but a welcome one I think.  The henchperson of Indeterminate Gender is one of the funniest of Olaf's cronies and I would miss them if they died.  Maybe the producers thought that this would be too dark of an addition to a show, which is more of a comedy.

Anyway, the Baudelaires realise that their only option is to climb into the boot of Count Olaf's car.  They climb into the belly of the beast and allow Olaf unwittingly drives them away to their next misadventure.  And in the very last shot of the episode, we see an unknown set of hands grabbing the sugar bowl from the hospital.  Who could it be? Jacquelyn or Larry-the-Waiter who were thankfully absent from this episode.  Maybe it was Olivia Caliban who's also been absent.  I reckon it could be Kit Snicket.  Book-readers already know who I'm talking about.

VFD and Cultural References

1. Volunteers Fighting Diseases is the only VFD reference I picked up on.

2. Dr Faustus is a reference to Dr Faust, a German folktale about an academic called Faust who sold his soul to the devil in return for unlimited knowledge.

3. There were three references to adaptations of Stephen King books here.  During the scene where Count Olaf is terrorising Babs, we see the two white-faced powdered women holding balloons, like in It, and standing like the twins in the Shining.  Furthermore, when the henchperson of Indeterminate Gender breaks into the room where the Baudelaires have been hiding, they say "here I am.  Nurse Lucafont," a great reference to the iconic "Here's Johnny" scene within the Shining.

4. At the Last Chance General Store, when the shopkeeper asks if he recognises the Baudelaires, Klaus replies that they're child-actors.  While I have found some of the meta-humour growing old, this was a hilarious exception to the rule.

5. And finally, the Heimlich Hospital is obviously named after the Heimlich Manoeuvre.  

Pan's Labyrinth Review

Number 133 on the top 1000 films of all time is Guillame del Toro's dark fantasy film: Pan's Labyrinth.

Set in the aftermath of the Spanish Civil War, Pan's Labyrinth follows two inter-twining narratives.  The first focusses on a little girl called Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) who discovers that she is actually Moanna, the princess of the underworld.  She meets a faun (Doug Jones) who gives her a series of tasks, so that she can gain immortality.

Ofelia's stepfather is the villainous Vidal, a Fascist Falange captain, in charge of the village Navarra.  However, there is civil unrest, as Vidal is in a guerilla war with the local resistance movement who are determined to overthrow him.

This is an intensely creative film.  Rooted heavily in Spanish folklore, as well as Del Toro's immense imagination, the visual effects were great.  They were a mixture of practical and special effects and the practical effects were just excellent.  Considering how complicated and fantastical some of the creatures are, you would expect them to be CGI, but actually it's a physical actor in a physical costume.  Ofelia's guide through the labyrinth is a faun who was played brilliantly by Doug Jones.  Within the labyrinth, Ofelia also meets the terrifying Pale Man - a child-eating monster, which was once again Doug Jones in a costume.  Pan's Labyrinth won the Oscar for best make-up, which is well-deserved.  The make-up, animatronics and costume design were simply superb.

Beyond the visual element, the world of Pan's Labyrinth was well-realised.  Although it steeped in Spanish mythology, I could definitely see Roman and Greek influences too.  Ofelia being pursued by the Pale Man through the labyrinth is definitely comparable to the Greek myth of the Minotaur and the Labyrinth.  Ofelia's different challenges could be compared to the trials of Sisyphus.

Complimenting Ofelia's story is the narrative concerning the despicable Captain Vidal.  From the off, it is obvious that Vidal is a cruel sadist and Sergio Lopez's portrayed the character well.  Vidal was an evil character, but still a watchable one.  There is one particular moment where Vidal torments a stuttering resistance fighter that if he can count to three without stuttering, he'll be set free.  This is where we see his sadism at its worst.  Considering the horrors of the fascist regime, it only makes sense that Ofelia will retreat into this fantasy world.

If I were to criticise something, I would say that maybe Vidal's narrative overshadowed Ofelia's one.  And I don't think this was right, as Ofelia's narrative was the primary one.  However, while, Ofelia's narrative was visually stunning, I didn't find it as compelling as Vidal's narrative.  I found Vidal's character to be far more interesting to watch and I think it's just because of how evil his character was.  And I also think that Del Toro focussed far more on the guerilla war between Vidal's forces and the resistance movement, than on Ofelia's challenges to become immortal.

Although this is a small criticism really.  The visual effects were marvellous and Sergio Lopez was terrifying as Vidal, but Ofelia's narrative was central above all.  Pan's Labyrinth has been likened to an adult-version of Alice in Wonderland, which I would agree with.  So, next time, you feel like escaping into a fantasy world, I'd recommend Pan's Labyrinth.  Just expect it to be a brutal and bloody ride.  This is a film, which engages with some adult themes.  This is definitely not a kid's film.

The Vile Village Review

The Bad Beginning Review

The Reptile Room Review

The Wide Window Review

The Miserable Mill Review

The Austere Academy review

The Ersatz Elevator review

Dear Reader,

if you are reading this blog, then obviously you like to read distressing stories of attractive and intelligent orphans confront horrific events, such as stringent rules, villains and being burnt at the stake.  If this is the case with you, then I beg you to read happier tales.  Meanwhile, I will work to keep this blog where it belongs, at the bottom of the Search Engine rankings

If the Austere Academy was a parody of education, and the Ersatz Elevator of wealth and fashion, then the Vile Village is one of small town life and of the Spaghetti Western genre.

Their latest misadventure sees the Baudelaire orphans arrive in the village of VFD or the Village of Fowl Devotees - a small village which is populated by crows and residents who adhere to strict rules.  Under the aphorism of "it takes a village to raise a child," the whole village will raise the Baudelaire orphans.  Well, their handyman Hector will, while the rest will just boss them around and make them do their chores.  Meanwhile, Hector is too skittish to speak up against them - he is just the latest in a long line of helpful, but ineffective adults.  However, Hector is brave enough to defy the townspeople in private, by building a self-sustaining mobile home in his secret barn.

However, where the Baudelaires go, Count Olaf is sure to follow.  And where Count goes, so does Jacques Snicket and Olivia Caliban.  Snicket confronts Olaf in the town saloon, where it is revealed that Olaf was once a good man who fought evil and fires alongside Snicket.  However, then something happened which catapulted him into a lifetime of villainy.  These were interesting nuggets, which helped to develop Olaf's character.  But Snicket gets the best of Olaf and imprisons him in the town jail.  And then the police catch him, send him to jail and the Baudelaires live happily ever after.  Right?

Wrong! Nothing ever goes right in this story.  Actually, that's not true, the Baudelaires discover couplets that could be written by none other than Isadora Quagmire.  The Baudelaires suspect that within these couplets is a clue to the Quagmires' location.  But before they can investigate any further, they encounter no other, than their previous guardian and Count Olaf's girlfriend, disguised as police officer Luciana, who reports the news that Count Olaf has been captured.  But it's really Jacques Snicket who has been crudely made up to look like Count Olaf.  Although, curiously, Snicket also has a tattoo of an eye on his ankle.

And where is the real Count Olaf? Disguised as the ultra-annoying Detective Dupin.  When the townspeople want to just fine Snicket for his supposed villainy, Olaf calls for him to be burnt at the stake and then mob mentality takes hold.  Snicket is taken to jail.  The Baudelaires plead for Hector to help them free Snicket, but when he refuses, they take it upon themselves.

However, their rescue plan goes awry when it emerges that Snicket has been murdered.  And on that note, the first part of this episode ends.

And just when you thought things couldn't get any worse for the Baudelaires, Olaf then frames for Snicket's murder, by using the very items, they were using to break Snicket out of jail.  This was a nice diversion from the books, where Olaf plants evidence.  I preferred the TV version, as it shows how the plans of our heroes can backfire on them.  Anyway, the Baudelaires are sent to jail with Hector being too skittish to defend them.

Once in jail, the Baudelaires figure out that the Quagmires are trapped in the fountain in the centre of town.  Klaus also comes to the sad conclusion that today is his 13th birthday, which was a nice human moment.  With this realisation, Klaus becomes resigned to his fate, claiming that nothing short Deus Ex machina will save them now.  But trusty Violet uses their prison rations, as well as a wooden bench to create a battering ram to smash their way out of jail.  From there, they free the Quagmires only to discover that the townspeople are still baying for their blood.

Deus ex Machina then arrives in the form of Jacquelyn and Larry-the-Waiter.  However, they do little to deter the townpeople who then tie them up.  This was a nice example of how unrealistic Deus ex Machina can be, but it is also another example of how useless Jacquelyn and Larry actually are.  I can't think of how many times they've actually helped the Baudelaires.

Anyway, Hector finally gains the courage to start up his self-sustaining, hot-air mobile home, just in time to rescue the Baudelaires and Quagmires.  And so, all five orphans and Hector live happily ever after.  Right? Wrong.  Hector drops a ladder, which the Quagmires are able to climb up to safety.  However, their slow progress, allows Esme Squalor to begin firing at them using a harpoon gun.  When it becomes obvious that the mobile home can't take anymore damage, the Baudelaires decide to let their friends fly to safety, rather than endanger them.

Meanwhile, Esme Squalor unintentionally harpoons one of the VFD crows, breaking the most sacred rule of the town.  The townspeople turn on Olaf and Esme, who only just escape.  Now fugitives, the Baudelaires ride off into the sunset, accompanied by a score, which could be straight out of a Sergio Leone Western.

I still continue to enjoy this show.  Sure, the meta-humour, as well as Lemony Snicket's interludes have lost their novelty, they are still enjoyable to watch.  But what I love most is just how different parts of society are parodied.  In perhaps the darkest installment yet, VFD is ravaged by mob psychology, as the townspeople become suspicious of outsiders.  The set design and production continues to amaze.  From the Sergio Leonesque score and the Baudelaires riding of into the sunset, we already know this to be a parody of a Western.  But there also sweeping landscape shots of the Hinterlands - wastelands desolate enough to be reminiscent of the Western frontier.  Detective Dupin is a grotesque parody of John Wayne/Clint Eastwood cowboy characters - the characters who are always cool, regardless of how dire the situation is.  And don't forget the saloon and town jail, which wouldn't be out of place in one of the Dollars' films.

But what me the most about this episode is how dark it was.  Zack Handlen of the AV Club has written extensively about how ASOUE has always felt like a low-stakes drama.  The threat Count Olaf poses is underminded by his constant blundering.  True this is a kid's show, but even kid's shows need threatening villains.  And this is what this episode did.  By killing the heroic Jacques Snicket, and having the Baudelaires almost being burnt at the stake was an effective way of injecting some immediacy into a show that is becoming overfamiliar.

VFD and cultural references.

1. Village of Fowl Devotees - the most obvious reference was the only one I spotted.
2. The deconstruction of Deus Ex Machina was effective to watch

It Happened One Night Review

Number 132 on the top 1000 films of all time is the romantic, screwball comedy, It Happened One Night.

Ellen Andrews (Claudette Colbert) is a pampered, spoilt, selfish socialite who tries to elope with pilot King Westley.  However, Ellen's father, Alexander Andrews, knows that Westley is only interested in his daughter, because of Alexander's immense wealth.  When Alexander retrieves Ellen from Florida and wishes to have the marriage annulled, Ellen runs away to join her husband in New York.  On the way there, she meets out-of-work reporter Peter Warner (Clark Gable.) Warner agrees to help her, in exchange to the exclusive rights to her story.  If she doesn't agree, then Warner will give her up to her father.  Knowing she has little choice, she allows Warner to help her get to New York, but as the two get to know each other better, they begin falling in love.

It is fair to say that It Happened One Night was a bit of a sleeper hit.  Nobody expected it do well from Columbia Pictures who made little effort to market it, to lead actors Gable and Colbert, with the latter denouncing it as "the worst picture in the world." Despite this it received critical acclaim and it was the first film to win the Oscar grand slam: the best picture, actor, actress, screenplay and director.  And I thought it was well-deserving of this win.

This was a thoroughly charming romantic-comedy with great performances from Gable and Colbert, who was so certain she wouldn't win the Oscar, she refused to attend the ceremony.  Both characters begin as unlikable with Andrews being a spoilt brad and Warner being a selfish and jaded cynic.  However, as the two begin loving one another, they transform into kinder and more sensitive individuals.  For example, when another bus passenger approaches Warner about working together to return Andrews to her father and then split the $10,000 reward, Warner puts on a tough guy act.  He pretends he's working for the mafia and has taken Andrews hostage in hopes of a $1,000,000 ransom sum.

The act is convincing enough to send the bus passenger running for his life.  Andrews also has her more sensitive moments: on the same bus, a mother collapses from hunger.  With her son in distress, Andrews doesn't think twice about giving him money. 

The film also has its comedic moments.  When Andrews and Warner are spending the night in a hotel, they pose as husband and wife to avoid suspicion.  When the police come sniffing around, Warner and Andrews continue to play their parts by having a huge, shouting row.  This is enough to make the police so uncomfortable that they leave.  This scene was so brilliantly overacted that it was hilarious to watch.

Overall, this was a great little film.  It was thoroughly watchable and had some great performances in it.  After all, it was the first film to win the five big Oscars, a feat that wouldn't be repeated until One Flew over the Cuckoo's nest and The Silence of the Lambs.

The Ersatz Elevator Review

The Bad Beginning Review

The Reptile Room Review

The Wide Window Review

The Miserable Mill Review

The Austere Academy review

Dear reader,

if you think this review will be of a happy tale in the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, then your thoughts will be just as ersatz as the elevator, in the building where they live.  For the Baudelaire have few happy moments in their lives.  This particular installment of the Baudelaires' lives is especially distressing, involving treachery, lies and far too much salmon.  While, like a ghost, I am forever imprisoned in writing these reviews, you are not obligated to read them.  I beg you please don't.  Leave my blog where it belongs, at the bottom of Search Engine rankings.

Within the Baudelaire's last misadventure, we saw them attend Prufock Prepatory Academy, a horrible boarding school.  There they find new friends in the Quagmire triplets, Duncan and Isadora, the two survivors of a fire which killed their killed parents and brother, Quigley.  However, they are then kidnapped by Count Olaf.


The Ersatz Elevator picks up where this chapter ended.  Hapless banker, Mr Poe, who is in charge of the Baudelaires, delivers them to their new guardians, Jerome and Esme Squalor who live in 667 Dark Avenue, within a particularly fashionable and wealthy area.


And just like how the Austere Academy crudely parodied, the education system, the Ersatz Elevator is a satirical parody of mindless materialism.  Esme Squalor is a complete narcissist who cares far more about her own wealth and public image, than the Baudelaires.  A common motif in this episode is whether something is "in," or "out," that is to say, whether something is in-fashion or out.  Aqueous Martinis, pinstripe suits and stairs are in.  While Esme couldn't care less about the Baudelaires, Jerome loves the Baudelaires dearly.  However, he also doesn't like to argue with people and is constantly hen-pecked by his wife.

Tony Hale and Lucy Punch were both great as Jerome and Esme Squalor, respectively.  Esme's pure callousness and obsession with wealth worked in well with the tone of the episode and provided a lot of the humour.  And Tony Hale was charming as the helpful, but incompetent Jerome Squalor.

One criticism I had of the Austere Academy is that it showed Count Olaf early in the episode out of his disguise.  This then removed from the shock, we were supposed to see when he appeared at the episode's conclusion within his costume that of course fooled everyone.The Ersatz Elevator fixed this by having Count Olaf appear in the Squalor's penthouse apartment in his disguise of fashionable auctioneer Gunter, complete with a monacle and a dreadful foreign accent.  Which accent? Well, the accent of the far away land of Far Away.  And Gunter's purpose is to arbitrate the In Auction happening at Veblen Hall.  Count Olaf fools both the Squalors, but of course, the Baudelaires see right through his disguise.

They suspect that since he is close by, so are the Quagmires and so they search the Squalors' ridiculously lavish apartment for any sign, but without any success.  From here, the Baudelaires and Squalors then go out to dinner in the Innest restaurant in town: Herring Houdini, which is a fake restaurant ran by Count Olaf's henchmen.

Another thing I haven't liked about the last few episodes is how the henchmen feel misused.  Either they're completely overused like Olaf or they're underused, but I felt this episode found the right balance.  Although they provide a lot of the show's humour separately, they're at their absolute best when they're together.  Their constant bumbling and blunders is always entertaining to watch.

Speaking of blunders, they make a mistake by serving Esme and co, alcoholic Vodka Martinis,
And discussing waiters, we are reintroduced to Larry-the-Waiter and Mr Poe's secretary Jacquelyn, two adults part of the same organisation as the Baudelaire's parents, who are determined to help the Baudelaires any opportunity they can.  When Olaf spots these two, he tries to make a quick get-away, but is held back by Larry-the-Waiter who has grown in confidence since we first saw him.

Larry-the-Waiter and Jacquelyn then try to buy the Baudelaires time to sneak away and continue their search for the Quagmires.  They do this by demanding that Olaf sing a song.  Although Zack Handlen of the AV Club accused this section of being irrelevant and self-indulgent, I don't agree.  It was entertaining and gave Neil Patrick Harris a chance to show off his musical theatre talents.  It was also in line with the tone of the episode.  The style of the singing was very reminiscent of the jazz clubs of the Roaring Twenties, where wealth was abundant.
But it also gave the Baudelaires enough time to return to 667 Dark Avenue and discover the Quagmires in a cage at the bottom of a false or Ersatz Elevator shaft.  And the five orphans all live happily ever after.
Wait.  No.  That's not how this works at all.  But before we explore how things all go wrong for the Baudelaires in the second episode, let's briefly discuss a subplot of the first episode.  This subplot picks up on a character from the Austere Academy - the school librarian who tries to help the Baudelaires.
The librarian is called Olivia Caliban, who book-readers know is an important character, and she connects up with the dashing and brave Jacques Snicket, played by the dashing and brave Nathan Fillion.  They are also working together to find the Quagmires, although they have little success in doing so.  It is revealed that Jacques Snicket is also part of this mysterious organisation and he helps to bring Olivia Caliban up to speed.
Anyway, onto the second episode.  While the Baudelaires have found the Quagmires, they are unable to break them free from their cage, so the Baudelaires return back to the Penthouse Apartment, where they find none other than Esme Squalor.
Realising they have few others options, they ask her for help and tell her the truth about everything.  She seemingly agrees to help them, before pushing them down the empty elevator shaft.  Some god-awful CGI later, Baudelaires fall and fall into a net suspended within the shaft.  It is then revealed that Esme has been in cahoots with Count Olaf all along.  Esme and Count Olaf have a shared past and she has been helping him to catch the Baudelaires and the Quagmires.
This plot twist is one that makes perfect sense.  We know that Esme Squalor is the epitome of narcissism.  All she cares about is material wealth, and so it is perfectly logical that she would want the Baudelaire's and Quagmire's fortunes all for herself.
Although the Baudelaires seem trapped in the net, Sunny Baudelaire uses her teeth to help her climb up the elevator shaft and back into the penthouse apartment to find something to help her siblings.  Meanwhile, Olaf and Esme thinking they've succeeded then do some celebratory dancing.  While I didn't think the musical number in the first episode was self-indulgent, I definitely think that this was.  It was completely irrelevant and didn't add at all to the plot.  It was just more of an excuse for Neil Patrick Harris and Lucy Punch to be silly.
But, Sunny finds a rope which she uses to return to her siblings and then help them climb to the bottom of the elevator shaft, where they discover that the Quagmires are gone, presumably taken by Count Olaf's henchmen.  This is particularly frustrating for the Baudelaires, as the Quagmires never had the chance to tell them what they've learned about the mysterious organisation VFD or about its spyglass insginia.  However, before they were taken, the Quagmires did have the chance to tell the Baudelaires that Gunter plans to auction them off, disguised in a lot within the In auction.
The Baudelaires discover a mysterious tunnel leading away from the elevator shaft, which leads to the burnt ruins of the Baudelaires' home.  The orphans peer out of a trapdoor where they see a man with a tattoo of an eye on his ankle.  Presuming its Count Olaf, they quickly hide.  However, we then see that it is actually Jacques Snicket, which made the plot thicken.  Were Jacques Snicket and Count Olaf once comrades working together in the same organisation? Furthermore, some dialogue between Snicket and Olivia reveals that a sugar bowl was once stolen from Esme Squalor.  Book-readers know this is an important plot point.
Once they have steeled themselves, the Baudelaires leave the trapdoor and enter the ruins of the Baudelaire mansion.  This was a suitably touching moment, as we see the orphans trying to keep their composure.  However, their love for the Quagmires, sees them marching forward.  Fortunately, they meet Mr Poe who is also on his way to the In Auction.
The Baudelaires suspect that Olaf is hiding the Quagmires in the mysterious Lot 49 - a giant box labelled VFD.  This then starts a hilariously farcical bidding wars, as everybody tries outbidding each other to win the lot.  This includes the Baudelaires, Mr Poe, Count Olaf's henchmen, Count Olaf himself, Jacques Snicket and even a newly brave Jerome Squalor.  The Baudelaires win the lot and rip open the box, only to find it full of Very Fancy Dollies.
It's revealed that the VFD box was a red herring and the Quagmires were hidden in a statue of a literal red herring.  Just as Count Olaf is unveiled and it seems like he's going to get caught, Veblen Hall becomes Out and in the chaos, Olaf, Esme, who proclaims Olaf as her new boyfriend, and all of his henchmen escape.
The Baudelaires are prepared to chase after them, but Jerome Squalor stops him claiming it is too dangerous.  They beg him to help them, but he lacks the courage to do so and thus refuses to be their guardian any longer.  Mr Poe then takes the Baudelaires to their next guardian, a village called VFD, although their desire to rescue the Quagmires is as strong as ever.
And in hot pursuit are the four adults intent on helping the Baudelaires: Jacquelyn, Larry-the-Waiter, Olivia Caliban and Jacques Snicket.  But knowing a Series of Unfortunate Events, I'm not sure whether all of these characters will get happy endings.
All in all, this was another enjoyable edition of a Series of Unfortunate Events.  While the meta-humour and Lemony Snicket's dire wishes for us to stop watching, it is still greatly watchable.  The set production, design and the humour is on point and I looked forward to the next edition: The Vile Village.
VFD and Cultural References:






which definitely don't have any sleeping potion in them *wink wink* However, Vodka Martinis are completely out, and so the Squalors and the Baudelaires instead go to Cafe Salmonella - a cafe which is completely designed around the theme of salmon.  The cocktails are salmon, the soup is salmon, as is the salad, and to, top it all of, all of the waiters are dressed up as salmon.


















1. Virulently Fishy Decor
5. Veblen Hall is out in favour of the in Milton Friedman Hall.  Milton Friedman is a famous economist who won the 1976 Nobel Memorial Prize.
2.Vigorously Fancy Dining
3. Very Fancy Doilles
4. One of the bidders at the auction is called Fellini, named after a famous Italian film director

The Bridge on the River Kwai review

Number 131 on the top 1000 films of all time is the film that earned Alec Guiness, the Best Actor Oscar: The Bridge on the River Kwai.

Set in a WW2 Japanese POW camp, Colonel Nicholson (Alec Guiness) is the leader of a group of British prisoners.  When the camp commandant, Colonel Saito, (Sessue Hayakama) orders the British to build a strategically important bridge, the British slack and sabotage the project.  That is, until Colonel Nicholson tells them to start building the bridge properly, so that the completed bridge can serve as a symbol of British superiority. 

Meanwhile, the American, Major Shears (William Holden) escapes the same POW camp only to stumble upon a British squadron tasked with destroying the very bridge that Colonel Nicholson is building.

I really enjoyed this film, I found it very watchable.  It was interesting, as I felt that it focussed on a section of WW2, which is often overlooked: the war in Japan.  Of all of the WW2 films I have seen since I began this challenge: Saving Private Ryan, Downfall and Das Boot, only focussed on Nazi Germany.  I found it engaging to watch a film on a subject that I don't know all that much about.

Alec Guiness was great as Colonel Nicholson - a man whose greatest flaw is his commitment to his ideals.  When Colonel Saito orders Nicholson's men to build the bridge, he also orders Nicholson's officers to join the workforce.  However, as Nicholson points out doing so is a direct infraction of the Geneva convention.  Nicholson so staunchly defies Saito's orders that he is prepared to be beaten and imprisoned in an airless, metal shack.

But then as Nicholson becomes more obsessed with completing the bridge, he is prepared to use whatever resources necessary.  This includes his officers and even those men recovering in hospital.  To some extent, he could be considered more villainous than Saito, as at least the latter remains loyal to himself.  However, Nicholson is prepared to compromise his principles in favour of his pride.  But this is what made him a complicated character and therefore an interesting and compelling one.

Less compelling was the narrative following Major Shears.  While this raised the same questions about morality, for example, sacrificing one man for the group, I didn't find it as interesting.  I was so engrossed in the Nicholson storyline that everytime it jumped to Shears, I was taken out of the film.  I did enjoy this narrative and I thought Holden gave a good performance as reluctant hero Shears, but I just didn't find it as entertaining as the Nicholson narrative.

Lastly, the cinematography was just superb.  Filmed in Sri Lanka, the film had an appropriate feel  Some of the landscape shots of the river were just gorgeous.

Ultimately, despite my gripes about the Shears subplot, I did really enjoy this film.  Alec Guiness was great, it was mostly compelling throughout, and despite being 2 and a half hours long, the narrative never dragged.  And best of all, it's prompted me to start learning more about the Pacific theatre of WW2.  And when a film leaves you wanting more, you know it's doing something right.

The Austere Academy review

The Bad Beginning Review

The Reptile Room Review

The Wide Window Review

The Miserable Mill Review

Dear Reader,

I am sorry that you have returned to my blog.  Not because I do not value your company, but because you have been mislead into thinking that the Baudelaire situation has improved. It has not. Even a year on, they are still having the most miserable of experiences, with this latest installment including bullies, bad violin playing and terrible cafeteria food.  While it is my solemn duty to continue to review A Series of Unfortunate Events, you must have happier things to do, such as attending funerals.

A year has passed and season 2 of A Series of Unfortunate Events has just been broadcast on Netflix.  It continues the story of the Baudelaire children - Violet, Klaus and Sunny, three orphans who have lost their parents in a terrible fire.  They are relentless pursued by Count Olaf (Neil Patrick Harris) who wants the fortune their parents left behind.  Based on the Lemony Snicket's YA book series, it is narrated by Lemony Snicket himself (Patrick Warburton.) Misadventure after misadventure sees the Baudelaires go to an eccentric reptologist to a woman who is afraid of everything to working in a lumbermill, to, in this installment, a boarding school.

After a recap of last season, we see the Baudelaires meet the Vice Principal of Prufock Prepatory School, Nero (Roger Bart), an unhinged and incompetent man, who cares more about his violin playing more than the welfare of his students.  And for the record he is an awful violinist.  Complimenting his bumbling incompetence is the malicious bully Carmelita Spats (Kitana Turnbull) She is a spoilt, arrogant brat who torments the Baudelaires any chance she can.  And to make matters worse, the Baudelaires are forced to live in a tin shack, complete with snapping crabs and dripping fungus.  And then Count Olaf finds them again, disguised as a gym coach, ready to start hatching his next evil plot to steal their fortune.

However, things aren't all bad for the Baudelaires.  They soon befriend fellow pupils and triplets, Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, the only two survivors from a fire that killed their parents and brother, Quigley.  The Baudelaires are also helped by the school librarian and by the mysterious, Larry the Waiter, and Mr Poe's (a banker who is responsible for the Baudelaire orphans) secretary Jacuelyn.  Finally we are also introduced to the equally enigmatic Jacques Snicket, played by Nathan Fillion.  Book-readers know that Jaques Snicket is an important character within the books.

The setting for the Austere Academy was great.  In classic Snicket style, it is a blatant satire/parody of the current education institutions that run our lives.  Rather than actually teaching anything useful. the teachers force their students just to memorise and regurgitate information.  Vice Principal Nero is a tyrannical, but hapless bureaucrat, although not as cruel as his Roman namesake, and the library, a place of learning, is only allowed to be open for ten minutes a day.  Moreover, Carmelita Spats is your classic bully with her own cheering fan squad.  Finally, the school has a crumbling infrastructure with funds being constantly misappropriated.

While the parallels between The Austere Academy and real life were well-realised and delightful to watch, I do feel that the overall execution of the two-parter was lacking.  As Zack Handlen of AV Club notices, the first episode is largely just set-up, while that's obviously important, it can't come before the plot.  And that's what happens here.  Within the book, just as the Baudelaires feel they're safe from Count Olaf, he appears in disguise, ready to steal their fortune.

However, within this episode, we first see Count Olaf and his henchmen within the first half hour of the episode.  Rather than lurking in the background, they're placed front and centre.  They commandeer a Prufock Prep school bus, which is carrying the school's sport team home from an away game.  While, we always know that Count Olaf will appear, the excitement is in wondering when this will be.  It is much more satisfying to see his first entrance, being in a costume that falls everyone, rather than in the first twenty minutes.  It removes a lot of the dramatic tension.

On another note, I was also disappointed with the use of Olaf's henchmen.  While they have always functioned as comic-relief, I do feel they were underused, with some being reduced to wearing silly costumes for no reason.  There were definitely funny moments, such as the Hook-Handed man being afraid of the dark or the continued philosophisings of the henchman who looks neither like a man or a woman, but these were few and far between.

At the end of the first episode, Count Olaf reveals himself to the Baudelaires in his ridiculous gym coach disguise.  However, the effect of this was diluted, because of how he had already appeared earlier.  His reveal here would have been more powerful if it had been his only appearance in the episode.  Yet the narrative really gets going in the second episode, as the Baudelaires try to discover and foil Count Olaf's plot.  This plot is revealed to be Count Olaf making the Baudelaires run laps all night, so that they become too tired to concentrate in class and, thus, flunk their exams.  If that happens, then they will be expelled and sent to Olaf under the pretense of him home-schooling them.

Fortunately, the Quagmires save the day be running laps disguised as the Baudelaires, allowing the real Baudelaires to study for and pass their tests.  However, Count Olaf discovers the truth and kidnaps the Quagmires, before escaping.  The Quagmires were a nice addition to the story, acting as parallels to the Baudelaires and the child actors all worked well together.

Alongside this main plot, were two supplementary subplots, the first being the Baudelaires trying to discover more about the mysterious past of their parents.  It is revealed that the Baudelaire parents were members of a secret organisation who spoke in special codes and used spyglasses.  The Baudelaires then find out that the Quagmires' parents are part of the same organisation and together they try to discover the truth.  Meanwhile, Jacquelyn and Larry the Waiter are trying to help the Baudelaires by delivering them a book which will answer all of their questions. 

Both of these subplots play out very differently in the books and they work to a varying extent in the TV series.  The Baudelaires investigating into their parents' past is an enjoyable new addition, adding in some increased tension.  However, I'm not too keen on Jacquelyn and Larry.  It is is revealed that they had a shared past with Count Olaf and the Baudelaire's parents, but this has always remained a little too mysterious for my liking.  It has a raised a lot of questions and not too many answers.  Although, it is only halfway through.  I'm sure their significance will be explained later on...just like how I'm sure the Baudelaires' situation will definitely improve and they'll live happily ever after...oh wait, it's not that kind of story.

VFD and Cultural References

1. Victoriously Final Days is the only VFD reference I spotted here.
2. Count Olaf calls Vice Principal Nero, Caligula at one point.
3. Carmelita Spats and Larry the Waiter quote Wannabe by the Spice Girls.
4. The famous poet Ogden Nash is discussed by Klaus and Isadora.

The Seventh Seal Review

Number 130 on the top 1000 films of all time is Ingmar Bergman's 1957 epic historical fantasy, The Seventh Seal.

Antonius Block (Max Von Sydow) is a Swedish knight returning from the Crusades.  Upon his return, he is approached by a personification of Death, who tells him that his time has come.  To forestall his judgement, Block challenges Death to a game of chess.  And during the game, Block finds ways to help others come to terms with their final judgements.

Along with Wild Strawberries, the Seventh Seal is regarded as one of Bergman's finest films.  In fact, it has become a classic of both Swedish and World cinema.  And I feel that it is naturally a film that would appeal more to critics than to general audiences.  Like a scholarly text, while it will have a general audience, it would have a greater appeal to scholars and film enthusiasts.

Perhaps this is because of how intellectualised the content is.  it engages with profound topics, most prominently our relationship with death.  And it does this well, with the game of chess functioning as our entrance into this world.  It is closer to a plot device than anything else, but it s a plot device that works, with the white and black colours of chess being metaphors for life and death.  Although, I'm not sure whether the chess game featured enough for this metaphor to be apparent enough.  The film jumped around a bit, thus diluting the importance of the game of chess.

Nevertheless, this was an enjoyable film, which raises important points about our relationship with death.  Alas, I am just not intelligent enough to fully appreciate it.