Why Star Wars is overrated

 Yes fanboys, you've read that correctly. I think Star Wars is overrated, but before you start force choking and executing order 66 on me, hear me out.

I am a fan of Star Wars - the films at least, I have had little exposure with the extended universe, but I don't think they're some of the best films of all time. The original trilogy certainly don't deserve to be included in the top 1000 films of all time.

I can acknowledge Star Wars for what it is - mindless, escapist fun. It's nothing more than that - we're not talking hard sci-fi like Blade Runner or Star Trek where we get deep philosophical questions about what it means to be human. Star Wars is the hero's journey set in space. That's it.

I've always been puzzled when I've heard girls say that they don't get Star Wars. What's there to get? Are we talking about something as (supposedly) profound or deep as 2001: A Space Odyssey. Are we posed with meaningful questions about the nature of humanity like we get in the Terminator films? Star Wars is nothing more than a big boy's film: it's a Western set in space. Tatooine and the other outer rim systems are the Wild West - the Mos Eisley cantina is an easy substitute for the old-timey saloons. Instead of horses we have spaceships. Instead of the man in black, we have Darth Vader. Luke Skywalker is our hero in white. The bounty hunter Han Solo is the outlaw, roguish man with no name. The blasters substitute the magnum revolvers. Hell, instead of Indians and cowboys, we have the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire.

I think George Lucas would agree with me. When he was originally creating Star Wars, he wanted to make something closer to Flash Gordon and the Brothers' Grimm fairytales than Kubrick's Space Odyssey. He wanted to create a space fantasy where the audiences witnessed something fun, adventurous and whimsical. And that's what he did. It doesn't mean that these films are the best ever made.

Fans slate the Disney sequel saga for their awful writing and dialogue. That's fair criticism, but I would urge you to take off your rosy-tinted glasses. The original films are just as badly written. The evil, omnipotent Galactic Empire was stupid enough to make not one but two Death Stars with the same fatal flaw of having a massive hole in the middle, which any old rebel pilot can fly their X-Fighter into and shoot a few torpedoes into. This is an error so egregious that Family Guy mocked it and a whole new film had to be created to explain it - Rogue One. 

Furthermore, Leia kisses Luke in a New Hope and the Empire Strikes Back before confessing that she's always known they were brother and sister in the Return of the Jedi. A lot of this comes down to Lucas' originally writing a monstrously huge script for A New Hope - most of which had to be spread across a whole trilogy of films. This meant that he had to use the ending of Return of the Jedi for a New Hope, as he explained in the DVD commentary, which would explain the overly-cheesy and definitive ending that didn't leave much room for a sequel. 

Yet it isn't just his writing that is bad, but also his dialogue. Harrison Ford criticised it saying you can type this shit up, but you can't say it. There are varying reports about why Alec Guinness' character of Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi dies in a New Hope, but some say that Guinness begged to be killed off, so he didn't have to say the dialogue anymore. In Attack of the Clones, Hayden Christensen, who plays Anakin Skywalker, goes off about how much he hates sand. A lot of people slate Christensen's wooden performance, but how charismatic can you be when you have to recite a monologue about sand?

But Lucas wasn't just bad at writing or at dialogue, but also direction. Far from being a director who was at the forefront of the action, he gave his cast and crew little instruction. Producer Gary Kurtz described him as a loner who didn't get on with the large crew while Carrie Fisher said that when he did give direction it was little more than "faster" or "more intense," in the Empire of Dreams The Story of the Star Wars trilogy documentary. That's exactly the captain you want at the helm of your ship, right?

What I will give Star Wars credit for is its pioneering use of special and visual effects. Obviously, I wasn't alive to see the original films in cinema, but I've heard that it was an amazing experience, because of the effects. Lucas made terrific use of miniature models to create some brilliant action sequences.

This pioneering use of models eventually translated into CGI, which made the prequels such an entertaining watch. But it was just entertaining. Nothing more. Especially when Lucas took things too far and kept constantly re-releasing the original trilogy with unnecessary edits like replacing the original holographic emperor in The Empire Strikes Back, played by Marjorie Eaton, voiced by Clive Revill, with Ian Mcdermid who went onto play the evil emperor in the prequels. Another replacement saw Sebastian Shaw who played the force ghost of Anakin Skywalker in the Return of the Jedi being swapped out with Hayden Christensen.

I also don't think the prequels aren't as bad as the fanbase makes them out to be. Yes, the Phantom Menace is slow-paced and bogged down with trade negotiations, but they get progressively better from there. Despite being bad, they are still entertaining. Like the originals. And, like the originals, they all share the same weaknesses. Samuel L. Jackson had to say some god-awful dialogue in Return of the Sith: "our worse fears have been realised," and, who can forget Darth Vader cheesily screaming out nooooooooooooooo. Of course, we've already heard about the infamous sand monologue.

There is nothing a Star Wars fan hates more than Star Wars. And there is no fandom I hate more than the Star Wars one. (I wouldn't be surprised if I start getting force-choked before I finish writing this.) I get that all fanbases have their toxic, elitist elements, but the Star Wars fanbase seems rotten to the core.

Firstly, they're blinded by nostalgia for the originals, which as we've already established, aren't all they're cracked up to be. But these rosy-tinted glasses have become blinkers where they struggle to acknowledge anything out of their reality.

Now even a casual Star Wars fan like me can acknowledge that the Disney sequels aren't great - even by Star Wars' standards. In the opposite of the prequels, they start off well and get progressively worse. I enjoyed the Force Awakens - I thought Ray and Finn were great together. But then they're separated for the next two films. In lieu of not knowing what to do with Finn, they give a couple of love stories that don't work, all while Ray's writing becomes progressively more contrived.

This is all fair criticism, but due to the Star Wars fandom, who enjoys bullying actors on social media, I'm sure it doesn't go far enough. Star Wars fans so hated the character of Rose in the Last Jedi that they sent no shortage of racist and sexist hate to Rose's actress Kelly Marie Tran - so much so that she deleted her social media. There were plenty who insisted this wasn't indicative of the whole fanbase, but I'm not so sure. Ahmed Best who played JarJar Binks became suicidal over the hate he received from playing a fictional character. Jake Lloyd who played the young Anakin Skywalker in A Phantom Menace didn't grow up to be a Hollywood A-Lister, but a paranoid schizophrenic with a criminal record. Granted, this isn't directly the result of the fandom, but being constantly bullied certainly didn't help things either.

I realise this isn't strictly a Star Wins, but a fanbase being stupid thing - Leslie Jones in Ghostbusters and Josh Mcdermitt in the Walking Dead also suffered abuse at the hands of so-called fans. Hell, even Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, had people hissing and booing at him in the streets. Yet it always seems the Star Wars fanbase who seems the most vitrolic in their hate. And they are always the ones you less likely to be able to reason with.

Do you disagree with me? Prove me wrong in the comments, but don't talk to me the way you did with Kelly Marie Trans. And remember, I do like Star Wars.  They're just NOT the best films ever. May the force be with you all.

Before Sunset (2004) review

 Number 272 on the top 1000 films of all time is Richard Lintlaker's romantic-drama 'Before Sunset' - sequel to the 1995 Before Sunrise.

Jesse Wallace (Ethan Hawke) is an American writer on the last stage of his European book tour in Paris. he is promoting the book that he wrote about a fleeting romance he had with French lady Celine (Julie Delphy,) whom he met in Vienna nine years prior. The events of which constitute the plot of Before Sunrise. Little does he know that we will soon re-unite with her in Paris.

I absolutely loved Before Sunrise. It is low in spectacle, action and budget, but high in authenticity and romantic chemistry between its two leads. I loved the original so much that I couldn't wait to watch the sequel. It was reminiscence of the beginnings of relationships where everything is exciting, new and fresh. Did Before Sunset live up to the hype? Not quite.

It was still a highly entertaining film, but it lacked the spark that the first one had. In many ways, it was a rehash of the first one. Only this time, Jesse and Celine are in Paris, instead of Vienna, and instead of an entire night together, they only have an hour before Jesse has to return to America at sunset.

Considering it's been nine years since their last encounter, Jesse and Celine have as much chemistry, as they did before. The same can be said for Ethan Hawke and Julie Delphy who co-wrote the film along with Richard Lintlaker. If you told me that the pair were dating in real life I wouldn't have been shocked as they were brilliant together. Obviously they weren't, as they weren't Ethan Hawke was finalising his divorce with wife Uma Thurman. Anyway, Jesse and Celine's dialogue sparkled. And the film had a fantastic air of authenticity. It didn't just feel real. It was real.

Yet the film still lacked something. It is only a paltry eighty minutes long, but it still felt longer than it should have been. On the surface, it seems that Jesse and Celine are picking up where they left off - even though they're both in new relationships - Jesse is married with a son, but we soon learn that they never truly recovered from their fateful encounter. Jesse is trapped in a loveless marriage while Celine never sees her photojournalist boyfriend. They're still both deeply in love with each other. While Before Sunrise showed the excitement of the beginning of the relationship, Before Sunset, seemed to focus more on the relationship after the honeymoon period has worn off.

This all culminates in a tearful confrontation at the film's climax. But this should have come sooner. I couldn't see what this film was building to - I wonder if it would have been similar to how Before Sunrise ended. But *spoilers*

it ended on a less ambiguous, but equally hopeful note. 

Richard Lintlaker captured lightning in the bottle with Before Sunrise. He couldn't quite do the same with Before Sunset, but it was still a great film nonetheless.

Arsenic and Old lace review

 Number 242 on the top 1000 films of all time is Frank Capra's 1944 black, screwball comedy 'Arsenic and Old Lace.'

Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant) is a theatre critic and author who's just married minister's daughter Elaine (Priscilla Lane.) Before they go on their honeymoon, he goes to see his aunts Abby (Josephine Hull) and Martha (Jean Adair) who are living with his mentally deranged brother who believes that he is Teddy Roosevelt. There he is horrified to learn that his aunts have been poisoning lonely, old men and burying them in the cellar. To make things worse, Mortimer's other brother Jonathan (Raymond Massey) arrives - also a murderer and fugitive of justice.

You get screwball comedies and then you get this completely off-the-wall farce. It gives the genre of "screwball comedy" a whole new meaning. It was so kooky that I'm not even sure where to begin.

Actually let's start with Cary Grant who once again put his vaudeville background to good use. He was a delight as the straight-edged Mortimer Brewster who is trying not to lost his mind at his aunt's gleeful admissions that they are serial murderers. He was so funny both in his mannerisms and dialogue.

We also need to credit Josephine Hull and Jean Adair who brought a lovely whimsy to their roles as the killer aunts. Despite being murderers, they made the aunts so endearing. They were just as funny as Cary Grant especially in their physical comedy. One particular scene sees them trying to poison a potential lodger by lacing his wine with arsenic, yet every time he goes to take a sip, he gets distracted Their constant excitement and disappointment was a joy to watch.

As the film progresses, things do become increasingly ridiculous - particularly when the murderous Jonathan enters the scene along with the hack German Doctor Herman Einstein (Peter Lorre) and a whole cohort of police officers. Chaos ensues as the film descends into a complete meaningless force.

Despite the strange ending, Arsenic and Old Lace was a charming, funny and often ridiculous screwball comedy. 

Sleuth (1972) review

 Number 238 on the top 1000 films of all time is Joseph L. Mankiewicz' mystery thriller 'Sleuth.'

Andrew Wyke (Laurence Olivier) is an eccentric crime writer with a love for puzzles, games and his mistress. He wants nothing more than to run off with her. The problem? He is still married. Enter his wife's lover, salon-owner and second-generation Italian immigrant Milo Tindle (Michael Caine.) Together the two hatch a plot for them to end up with their desired women.

You have to give Mankiewicz some credit. This is film with a minimal cast and sets, yet it is a true head-scratcher. It was a complicated affair. I'm not sure I understood everything even now. Despite that it is an interesting film that demands every ounce of your attention.

It was originally adapted from a play by Anthony Schaffer and I wonder if it would have been more effective on stage and screen. The two-man cast and two or three sets would have lent itself well to Broadway. Considering it won a Tony, it obviously did.

Plus this film adaptation included a giant of the English theatrical world: Laurene Olivier. He was enjoyable as the eccentric Andrew Wyke, often giving the role an electrifying energy. This coupled with his larger-than-life performance certainly wouldn't have been out of place in the theatre. He was incredibly physical and incredibly theatrical. Andrew Wyke is an odd fellow who fancies himself the next Agatha Christie. His house is full of strange costumes and other peculiarities. Olivier played the role to a tee. He was rightly nominated for an Oscar.

Michael Caine - also Oscar-nominated - was every part his equal. He plays Tindal well and he soon enters a battle of wits with Andrew Wyke. Although the two start as uneasy allies, then enter a cat-and-mouse game, as they desperately keep trying to outwit one another.

Although Sleuth was good on screen, I do think it was better suited to the stage. The intellectual plot, heavy dialogue, minimal sets and characters would have been perfect for any theatre hall.

The Last Picture Show review

 Number 236 on the top 1000 films of all time is Peter Bogdanvoich's 1971 coming-of-age drama: 'The Last Picture Show.'

Sonny Crawford (Timothy Bottoms) and Duane Jackson (Jeff Bridges) are two high-school seniors in the sleepy Texan oil-town of Anarene where nothing ever happens. They try to find some meaning in this meaningless place. The film is set in the 50's and co-stars Ellen Burstyn and Ben Johnson.

Christ, it was boring writing that summary. But it's difficult to make such a boring film sound interesting. The Last Picture Show takes place in a stagnant town that is slowly dying both culturally and financially. I would argue the film itself was dying a slow death, if it was even alive in the first place. And that's debatable.

When I think of Coming-of-Age dramas, I think of the adventure you find in Mud or the sheer loss of innocence of Stand By Me. Hell, I hated the Goonies, but at least that tried, and failed, to be fun. Yet there was nothing fun, memorable or adventurous in this dull film.

It reminded me of La Dolce Vita or even George Lucas' American Graffiti where a group of bored kids are running around getting into trouble, as they have little else to do. Duane, Sonny and the rest of their friends take their mentally slow friend to lose his virginity with a sex worker. Duane's girlfriend Jacy attends a skinny-dipping party where she strips naked and has to be reassured by the host that his little brother isn't a sex pest. it was all just weird. And it wasn't enjoyable either.

There is some considerable acting talent in this film. It starred future Oscar winner Jeff Bridges and future Triple Crown of Acting winner Ellen Burstyn, yet there isn't a memorable performance to speak of. All the characters, both male and female, blended into one.

Perhaps the only good thing I can say is about the film's black and white colour processing. Monochrome in film can look aesthetically pleasing even if it fails to add much.

This was such a boring film that I would we start getting tumbleweed rolling past at one point. I'm surprised I didn't fall asleep writing this review.

Ten films that should have been included on the top 1000 films of all time

 IMDB's top 1000 films of all time covers ninety-four years of film from Charlie Chaplin's 1925 The Kid to Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley's 2015 Vacation. Of course, it cannot include every film ever made, but I do think there are some egregious omissions. Considering there are at least thirty films that do not deserve to be on this list, I'm going to propose ten films that could take their place. This list is in no order, but chronology.

Bugsy Malone (1976)

If there's something that IMDB loves, it's both gangster films and musicals. The Godfather, Sweeney Todd and Les Miserables  all feature on the famous list. Bugsy Malone combines these two genres in a heart-warming pastiche of the mob films of old.

It tells the story of Bugsy Malone (Scott Baio) who is caught in a war between two rival gangsters. The film is notable for how it cast teenage actors in adult roles - like Jodie Foster in one of her earliest roles. Sure it gets a bit cheesy at the end, but so does Argo and that won the Best Film Oscar, despite lacking so many of the brilliant musical numbers Bugsy Malone has.

1984 (1984)

This is a film that needs no introduction. Considering how IMDB seems to love dystopia films, with Twelve Monkeys, Dark City and V for Vendetta all placing on the list, I don't understand why 1984 wasn't even mentioned.

1984 and its associated ideas of double speak and Big Brother have long entered the cultural lexicon. The film stars John Hurt as Winston Smith and Richard Burton, but I still don't understand why it wasn't included. It can substitute Brazil. At least 1984 actually has a point.

It (1990)

This adaptation of Stephen King's horror epic was actually a two-part TV film, so I guess that's why it didn't appear on IMDB's list. Yet I still think it deserves a place.

You could certainly argue that it might seem dated by today's standards, but Tim Curry's villainous performance as Pennywise the Clown was a lot scarier than the excessive gore, CGI and jump-cuts that dominate horror today. Best of all, it isn't nearly as long as Stephen King's 1000 page source material.

Natural Born Killers (1994)

NBK was highly controversial on its release. Some were critical of its extreme depictions of violence, while its distinctive visual style probably did nothing to help naysayers. Even writer Quentin Tarantino has since disowned this film.

But I think those who hated this film have missed its key idea. Director Oliver Stone was criticising the true-crime phenomenon that fascinated society even in the 90's. He was making the point of how the media irresponsibly glorifies criminals, which is as true back then as it is now.

Some love NBK. Some hate it. I loved it and I think it deserved a place on this list. it could easily replace Field of Dreams. At least NBK has something to say.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Relax, fan boys. The prequels aren't as bad as you say. As long as you don't take them too seriously, they're good fun to watch. And Attack of the Clones has plenty of fun, action sequences to carry it through.

Yes the dialogue is pretty bad with the characterisations being very thin, but how does this make it any different from any of the other Star Wars films?

The other films (sans Phantom Menace, obviously) appear on this list, so why not Attack of the Clones too? At least there isn't a Death Star where the villains were so stupid the designed it with a giant hole - a plot chasm so great, they had to make a whole film to fix it. May the force be with you.

Three and Out (2008)

I must be the only person who would put this on a top 1000 film list. This British black tragicomedy was panned by audiences and critics alike.

But I loved it. It was equal parts hilarious and heart-breaking with great performances from Mackenzie Crook, Colm Meaney, Gemma Arteton and Imelda Staunton. It was a film severely hurt by a disastrous marketing campaign.

Some might say this is a terrible film, but so is Running Scared and the Boondock Saints and they still featured on the list.

The Road (2009)

The Road is a bloody depressing film. Perhaps that's why it didn't feature. But Blue Valentine is equally depressing and that still featured. The Road is another adaptation of a Cormac McCarthy book featuring a father and son traversing an apocalyptic wasteland. Yes, it is downbeat and frustratingly vague, but it is still a powerful tale of hope and redemption.

No Country for Old Men - another Cormac McCarthy adaptation - placed at number 204th. Why wasn't the Road included too?

Carrie (2013)

Remakes are rarely a welcome sight among audiences. Most see them as shameless cash grabs, as was the case with the 2013 remake of Carrie.

But I'm going to be controversial and say that Carrie deserved its place on this list alongside the 1976 original. For one, it has a more faithful representation of Carrie, and two it has the excellent Chloe Grace-Moretz taking over from Sissy Spacek.

Despite what some critics have said, there are also some genuine scares too.

Whiplash (October 2014)

Whiplash received critical acclaim. It was won a whole host of awards including multiple Oscars. JK Simmons won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role as a tyrannical music teacher. it was directed by Damian Chazelle who two years later won a Best Director Oscar.

So why wasn't this film included on IMDB's list? I am absolutely baffled. It is a brilliant film - yes the ending doesn't make sense, but neither does The Hunger Games and that was still selected over Whiplash. Why?

Big Hero 6 (November 2014)

Frozen was a Disney film included on the IMDB list. Big Hero 6 was not. Frozen was picked over Big Hero 6. FROZEN!!! Big Hero Six was a fantastic film that had one of the cutest Disney protagonists since Wall-E. It had gorgeous animation and perfectly balanced humour and heartbreak. I can't think of many other films that make me cry from both laughter and sadness.

Have I missed out of any films? Let me know your thoughts below.

Big Hero 6 review

 I don't understand why this Disney animated film didn't chart on the top 1000 films of all time. It is an excellent adaptation of a Marvel comic.

Hiro Hamada (Ryan Potter) is a fourteen-year-old robotics genius. His older brother Tadasho (Daniel Henney) is his hero who has built the inflatable robot Baymax (Scott Adsit.) However, when Tadashi dies in a fire, Hiro begins to suspect he was murdered. Hiro teams up with Baymax and Tadashi's friends: Wasabi (Damon Wayans Jr), Go Go (Jamie Chung), Fred (TJ Miller) and Honey Lemon (Genesis Rodriguez) to find out the truth. Alan Tudyk and James Cromwell co-star.

Why is this film so good? One simple answer. Baymax. In designing him, director Don Hall wanted to do something different to the robots we've seen in the Terminator and Wall-E. Taking inspiration from real-life research into huggable robots, he created one of the most adorable characters ever. Paired with some brilliant animation, Baymax was one of Disney's most endearing protagonists.

I loved seeing him bumbling around in his misguided attempts to try and help people. He provided a lot of the film's humour especially in the earlier sections. All credit goes to Scott Halzit who, despite playing an emotionless robot, still imbued Baymax with so much humanity. 

But beyond the comedy and the adorable Baymax, there was so much heart and emotional weight - a lot more than you might expect from an animated film. This is Disney after all.

After Tadashi's death, Hiro is absolutely crushed and is ready to give up, but Baymax is ready to coach him through it - providing him with all the emotional support he needs. So are Tadashi's friends. They become a superhero team working together to beat the masked antagonist they suspect of killing Tadashi. The supporting characters were all great with their own personalities and quirks. Okay, I'm not a fan of TJ Miller who played Fred. He isn't funny. He's just annoying, but even he wasn't that bad here.

And the emotional weight continues to the end when we uncover the true motivations of our mysterious villain. It takes a lot for a film to balance both comedy and emotion, but Big Hero 6 did it well. It's rare that a film makes you cry from both laughter and sadness, but I was close to tears for many different reasons.

Big Hero Six was a triumph of the film. It was well-written, beautifully animated, comedy-drama that had one of the cutest protagonists ever. And, of course, it had a great soundtrack with Fallout Boy penning Immortals just for this film. Who doesn't like Fallout Boy? What a combination.