Dear reader,
if you think this review will be of a happy tale in the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, then your thoughts will be just as ersatz as the elevator, in the building where they live. For the Baudelaire have few happy moments in their lives. This particular installment of the Baudelaires' lives is especially distressing, involving treachery, lies and far too much salmon. While, like a ghost, I am forever imprisoned in writing these reviews, you are not obligated to read them. I beg you please don't. Leave my blog where it belongs, at the bottom of Search Engine rankings.
The Ersatz Elevator picks up where this chapter ended. Hapless banker, Mr Poe, who is in charge of the Baudelaires, delivers them to their new guardians, Jerome and Esme Squalor who live in 667 Dark Avenue, within a particularly fashionable and wealthy area.
And just like how the Austere Academy crudely parodied, the education system, the Ersatz Elevator is a satirical parody of mindless materialism. Esme Squalor is a complete narcissist who cares far more about her own wealth and public image, than the Baudelaires. A common motif in this episode is whether something is "in," or "out," that is to say, whether something is in-fashion or out. Aqueous Martinis, pinstripe suits and stairs are in. While Esme couldn't care less about the Baudelaires, Jerome loves the Baudelaires dearly. However, he also doesn't like to argue with people and is constantly hen-pecked by his wife.
Tony Hale and Lucy Punch were both great as Jerome and Esme Squalor, respectively. Esme's pure callousness and obsession with wealth worked in well with the tone of the episode and provided a lot of the humour. And Tony Hale was charming as the helpful, but incompetent Jerome Squalor.
One criticism I had of the Austere Academy is that it showed Count Olaf early in the episode out of his disguise. This then removed from the shock, we were supposed to see when he appeared at the episode's conclusion within his costume that of course fooled everyone.The Ersatz Elevator fixed this by having Count Olaf appear in the Squalor's penthouse apartment in his disguise of fashionable auctioneer Gunter, complete with a monacle and a dreadful foreign accent. Which accent? Well, the accent of the far away land of Far Away. And Gunter's purpose is to arbitrate the In Auction happening at Veblen Hall. Count Olaf fools both the Squalors, but of course, the Baudelaires see right through his disguise.
They suspect that since he is close by, so are the Quagmires and so they search the Squalors' ridiculously lavish apartment for any sign, but without any success. From here, the Baudelaires and Squalors then go out to dinner in the Innest restaurant in town: Herring Houdini, which is a fake restaurant ran by Count Olaf's henchmen.
Another thing I haven't liked about the last few episodes is how the henchmen feel misused. Either they're completely overused like Olaf or they're underused, but I felt this episode found the right balance. Although they provide a lot of the show's humour separately, they're at their absolute best when they're together. Their constant bumbling and blunders is always entertaining to watch.
Speaking of blunders, they make a mistake by serving Esme and co, alcoholic Vodka Martinis,
And discussing waiters, we are reintroduced to Larry-the-Waiter and Mr Poe's secretary Jacquelyn, two adults part of the same organisation as the Baudelaire's parents, who are determined to help the Baudelaires any opportunity they can. When Olaf spots these two, he tries to make a quick get-away, but is held back by Larry-the-Waiter who has grown in confidence since we first saw him.
Larry-the-Waiter and Jacquelyn then try to buy the Baudelaires time to sneak away and continue their search for the Quagmires. They do this by demanding that Olaf sing a song. Although Zack Handlen of the AV Club accused this section of being irrelevant and self-indulgent, I don't agree. It was entertaining and gave Neil Patrick Harris a chance to show off his musical theatre talents. It was also in line with the tone of the episode. The style of the singing was very reminiscent of the jazz clubs of the Roaring Twenties, where wealth was abundant.
But it also gave the Baudelaires enough time to return to 667 Dark Avenue and discover the Quagmires in a cage at the bottom of a false or Ersatz Elevator shaft. And the five orphans all live happily ever after.
Wait. No. That's not how this works at all. But before we explore how things all go wrong for the Baudelaires in the second episode, let's briefly discuss a subplot of the first episode. This subplot picks up on a character from the Austere Academy - the school librarian who tries to help the Baudelaires.
The librarian is called Olivia Caliban, who book-readers know is an important character, and she connects up with the dashing and brave Jacques Snicket, played by the dashing and brave Nathan Fillion. They are also working together to find the Quagmires, although they have little success in doing so. It is revealed that Jacques Snicket is also part of this mysterious organisation and he helps to bring Olivia Caliban up to speed.
Anyway, onto the second episode. While the Baudelaires have found the Quagmires, they are unable to break them free from their cage, so the Baudelaires return back to the Penthouse Apartment, where they find none other than Esme Squalor.
Realising they have few others options, they ask her for help and tell her the truth about everything. She seemingly agrees to help them, before pushing them down the empty elevator shaft. Some god-awful CGI later, Baudelaires fall and fall into a net suspended within the shaft. It is then revealed that Esme has been in cahoots with Count Olaf all along. Esme and Count Olaf have a shared past and she has been helping him to catch the Baudelaires and the Quagmires.
This plot twist is one that makes perfect sense. We know that Esme Squalor is the epitome of narcissism. All she cares about is material wealth, and so it is perfectly logical that she would want the Baudelaire's and Quagmire's fortunes all for herself.
Although the Baudelaires seem trapped in the net, Sunny Baudelaire uses her teeth to help her climb up the elevator shaft and back into the penthouse apartment to find something to help her siblings. Meanwhile, Olaf and Esme thinking they've succeeded then do some celebratory dancing. While I didn't think the musical number in the first episode was self-indulgent, I definitely think that this was. It was completely irrelevant and didn't add at all to the plot. It was just more of an excuse for Neil Patrick Harris and Lucy Punch to be silly.
But, Sunny finds a rope which she uses to return to her siblings and then help them climb to the bottom of the elevator shaft, where they discover that the Quagmires are gone, presumably taken by Count Olaf's henchmen. This is particularly frustrating for the Baudelaires, as the Quagmires never had the chance to tell them what they've learned about the mysterious organisation VFD or about its spyglass insginia. However, before they were taken, the Quagmires did have the chance to tell the Baudelaires that Gunter plans to auction them off, disguised in a lot within the In auction.
The Baudelaires discover a mysterious tunnel leading away from the elevator shaft, which leads to the burnt ruins of the Baudelaires' home. The orphans peer out of a trapdoor where they see a man with a tattoo of an eye on his ankle. Presuming its Count Olaf, they quickly hide. However, we then see that it is actually Jacques Snicket, which made the plot thicken. Were Jacques Snicket and Count Olaf once comrades working together in the same organisation? Furthermore, some dialogue between Snicket and Olivia reveals that a sugar bowl was once stolen from Esme Squalor. Book-readers know this is an important plot point.
Once they have steeled themselves, the Baudelaires leave the trapdoor and enter the ruins of the Baudelaire mansion. This was a suitably touching moment, as we see the orphans trying to keep their composure. However, their love for the Quagmires, sees them marching forward. Fortunately, they meet Mr Poe who is also on his way to the In Auction.
The Baudelaires suspect that Olaf is hiding the Quagmires in the mysterious Lot 49 - a giant box labelled VFD. This then starts a hilariously farcical bidding wars, as everybody tries outbidding each other to win the lot. This includes the Baudelaires, Mr Poe, Count Olaf's henchmen, Count Olaf himself, Jacques Snicket and even a newly brave Jerome Squalor. The Baudelaires win the lot and rip open the box, only to find it full of Very Fancy Dollies.
It's revealed that the VFD box was a red herring and the Quagmires were hidden in a statue of a literal red herring. Just as Count Olaf is unveiled and it seems like he's going to get caught, Veblen Hall becomes Out and in the chaos, Olaf, Esme, who proclaims Olaf as her new boyfriend, and all of his henchmen escape.
The Baudelaires are prepared to chase after them, but Jerome Squalor stops him claiming it is too dangerous. They beg him to help them, but he lacks the courage to do so and thus refuses to be their guardian any longer. Mr Poe then takes the Baudelaires to their next guardian, a village called VFD, although their desire to rescue the Quagmires is as strong as ever.
And in hot pursuit are the four adults intent on helping the Baudelaires: Jacquelyn, Larry-the-Waiter, Olivia Caliban and Jacques Snicket. But knowing a Series of Unfortunate Events, I'm not sure whether all of these characters will get happy endings.
All in all, this was another enjoyable edition of a Series of Unfortunate Events. While the meta-humour and Lemony Snicket's dire wishes for us to stop watching, it is still greatly watchable. The set production, design and the humour is on point and I looked forward to the next edition: The Vile Village.
VFD and Cultural References:
which definitely don't have any sleeping potion in them *wink wink* However, Vodka Martinis are completely out, and so the Squalors and the Baudelaires instead go to Cafe Salmonella - a cafe which is completely designed around the theme of salmon. The cocktails are salmon, the soup is salmon, as is the salad, and to, top it all of, all of the waiters are dressed up as salmon.
1. Virulently Fishy Decor
5. Veblen Hall is out in favour of the in Milton Friedman Hall. Milton Friedman is a famous economist who won the 1976 Nobel Memorial Prize.
2.Vigorously Fancy Dining
3. Very Fancy Doilles
4. One of the bidders at the auction is called Fellini, named after a famous Italian film director
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