Despicable Me 2 Review

 Number 733 on the top 1000 films of all time is the computer-animated comedy Despicable Me 2.

Former supervillain Gru (Steve Carell) is now a loving father to his three adoptive daughters. However, he is tempted into becoming a hero by secret agent Lucy Wilde (Kristen Wiig) when the mutagen PX41 is stolen from the Arctic Circle. This all forms part of a greater plan when it is revealed that supervillain El Macho (Benjamin Bratt) stole the mutagen in his scheme for world domination.

I liked this film as much as I liked its predecessor which is very little at all. It had all of the same weaknesses as the first Despicable Me. The humour wasn't even juvenile. It was infantile. There was an over-reliance on poop and fart jokes. I get that this is family-friendly. I get that it's meant for kids. But there is more to entertaining kids than poop and fart jokes. Usually in family-friendly films like in Disney Pixar while there are silly jokes for kids, there are lots of jokes that only adults are meant to get. But there was none of that in Despicable Me 2. Just juvenile humour and Steve Carell being Steve Carell.

I don't know why he's doing a silly voice with a silly accent. And I don't know why he has to do it throughout the whole film. It became very old very quickly. I get why this is a children's film. It has bright, eye-popping animation, lots of idiotic humour and cute little minions, but there is little substance for anybody older than the age of ten. The storyline was predictable, the voice performances were forgettable and, even the minions, who have gone onto become the mascots of this franchise became very tedious after a while.

Yes, I'm being a grumpy old man. But this grumpy old man did not like this film at all. It was despicable.

Collateral review

 Number 723 on the top 1000 films of all time is Michael Mann's 2004 neo-noir crime thriller 'Collateral.'

Max (Jamie Foxx) is an LA taxi driver with a simple dream of owning a limousine business. But his life spirals out of control when he accepts Vincent's (Tom Cruise) fare. For Vincent is a hitman who is a hitman with a number of contracts to complete.

Collateral was certainly an entertaining thriller if entirely unbelievable. Despite being a contract killer, Vincent is very careless. He exposes himself when he shoots his first victim leading to him falling out of a window onto Max's cab, partially destroying it. But surely a contract killer would be more careful than this. Vincent has hired Max to drive him around for the whole night. How is he supposed to do that when his windscreen has been near-shattered?  And they go on to put the victim's body in the trunk of the car. And they drive it around the whole night. Surely, this would attract unwanted police attention which later does happen. And Vincent even tells Max off about the dangers of unwanted attention. 

And when it comes to Vincent's final target, he (spoilers) hesitates long enough for Max to come and save a day. One, a contract killer would never hesitate like this. Two, we've seen Vincent kill remorselessly before. It made no sense for Vincent to hesitate now. Finally, he is very blaise about Max knowing his true identity. Surely, it would be in his own best interests to keep this a secret. There is less chance of Max panicking and doing something stupid. But I guess this wouldn't have made a very interesting film.

Despite these plot chasms, I did enjoy Collateral. At first, I wasn't convinced by Tom Cruise. I'm so used to seeing him as a hero that it was difficult seeing him as villain, but he was pretty damn good. Jamie Foxx was also great as Max. Max is your everyman whose whole life was turned upside down. And he goes through a very satisfying character arc from burned-out taxi driver to an unlikely hero. Foxx earned his Best Supporting Actor nomination.

Sure Collateral is unbelievable rubbish, but a film doesn't always have to be 100% believable to be entertaining.

Watchmen review

 Number 662 on the top 1000 films of all time is Zack Snyder's 2009 superhero film 'Watchmen.'

Set in an alternate dystopian 1985 with cold-war tensions running high, the film focusses on a group of retired superheroes called the Watchmen. When former member 'The Comedian,' (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) his team-mate Rorschach (Jackie Earle Healey) tries warning his former comrades Dr Manhatten (Billy Crudup,) Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman,) Niteowl (Patrick Wilson) and Ozymandias (Matthew Goode,) but instead he soon stumbles upon a greater and more dangerous conspiracy theory.

Many people credit Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy for giving a darker, grittier vision of superhero films. However, I would argue that Watchmen deserves a lot of credit for this too. As somebody got bored of superhero films by Age Of Ultron and who has never cared about the Marvel/DC debate, I thoroughly enjoyed Watchmen.

Not only did I enjoy the darker, grittier tone, but it felt more grounded and realistic than other superhero films. There were no stupid puns like the infamous Batman and Robin nor any fun and whimsy that you would expect from one of the million MCU films. Everything was grounded in real life. Nothing was played for fun. Nor should it have been.  Even in the eighties, the threat of nuclear annihilation was omni-present. It was a real fear, and Zack Snyder tapped into this fear well.

I was also impressed with Zack Snyder's direction. Having seen a few of his other films, I've noticed that the he prioritises spectacle over storyline, but he was remarkably subtle here. He also released a director's cut, which was also well-received.

Out of all the characters, Dr Manhattan is the only one with any powers which added another layer of realism. These aren't super-powered beings who became heroes, but simply everyday people.

Across the board, the performances were strong as well. Jeffrey Dean Morgan showed his early 'Negan' tendencies in his role as the slimy and smarmy 'Comedian. But Jackie Early Healy was the star of the show. Rorschach was a tortured soul, but Healy made him a sympathetic anti-hero.

Sure, it is relentlessly dark, but the next time you credit the Dark Knight Trilogy for reimagining the superhero genre, please also give Watchmen its due.

Field of Dreams review

Number 715 on the top 1000 films of all time is the sports-fantasy drama film 'Field of Dreams.'

Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) is a corn farmer in Iowa. Haunted by his poor relationship with his late father, he fears growing old without achieving anything. And that's when a mysterious voice tells him to plough part of his corn farm and to build a giant baseball ring instead. Several months after building the field, ghosts of famous baseball players Shoeless Joe Jackson (Ray Liotta) start appearing.

"Build it and and they will come" is the famous line from this film. Let me tell you if somebody built this film in a middle corn field in Iowa, I would not come back as a ghost and see it. I am not a baseball fan, so I didn't think I would enjoy this at all. However, the real reason why I did not enjoy it was that it was cheesy, overly-sentimental and completely lacking in any type of dramatic tension.

To say it had a slow start would be an understatement. The beginning is so lacking in any conflict that it almost put me to sleep. There's a middle-aged man, whom I have no reason to sympathise with, is going through a mid-life crisis. He thinks the solution to this is to go build a baseball diamond because some random ghost told me to do so. His wife goes along with this and the diamond is built without any issue. Ghosts of baseball players start appearing and Kevin Costner starts pitching and batting with them. Everything's hunky-dory. Where's the tension? Where's the conflict? Where's any reason for me to be interested in this film?

And the lack of any central conflict was this film's biggest problem. Ray Kinsella's mid-life crisis had such little immediacy and urgency that it was not engaging at all. His wife Annie (Amy Madigan) was fully supportive of his dreams, which again removed another source of conflict. Any recognisable conflict came from Ray and Annie potentially losing their farm to the bank, but even this was mostly-glossed over. And this all eventually culminated when their daughter Karin falls or is knocked off (it isn't clear which) some beachers and tumbles down in the most unrealistic and silliest looking way possible. But then she's healed by one of the baseball - playing ghosts. Just what?

This film wasn't entirely bad - James Earl Jones was enjoyable in a supporting role. But Field of Dreams was so lacking in substance and conflict and tension that it failed to be anything other than boring.

Despicable Me review

 Number 609 on the top 1000 films of all time is the animated comedy film Despicable Me. 

Gru (Steve Carell) is a supervillain who has been usurped by his younger rival Vector (Jason Segel.) With the help of his elderly assistant Dr Nefario (Russell Brand) and his legion of yellow minions, he aims to regain his reputation in the supervillain world by stealing the moon. However, this plan is complicated by his begrudging adoption of three little girls whom he starts to deeply care for.

I didn't like this film at all. Granted, I'm not the target market; this film is meant for kids. With its eye-popping visuals and bright, vivid colours, it is sure to be appealing for younger audiences. Beyond the visual flair was juvenile, immature humour, a cheesy storyline and an over-the-top performance by Steve Carell. 

I can understand that as a child fart and poop jokes are the pinnacle of humour, but as an adult I would be expecting something a little more refined. I wouldn't have minded one or two of these kind of jokes, but not a constant, never-ending onslaught. The humour became rather tedious after a while.

As did the entire film. It was a predictable run-of-the-mill affair. We are introduced to a seemingly villainous character who we find out isn't as villainous as we first thought as they have a soft-spot for orphans. He misses an event that is very important to them and supposedly has ruined their relationship only to go through a redemption arc at the end. This kind of storyline would have made more sense if we were watching a dark or an anti-hero character, but not a self-confessed supervillain. Do we really want to see our villains be redeemed?

While I do think Steve Carell is a capable dramatic actor, he is woefully over-the-top when it comes to comedy. The silly voice and accent he did for Gru was completely unnecessary and it became very annoying after a while. He is a physically expressive actor and I could see him trying (and failing) to inject this same physical humour into this animated role.

Maybe if I was a kid I would have really liked this film, but I really did not care for it.

The Remains of the Day review

 Number 370 on the top 1000 films of all time is the 1993 drama 'The Remains of the Day.'

Based on Kazuo Ishiguro's book of the same name and set in 1930's Britain, the Remains of the Day follows the life of the buttoned-up butler Mr James Stevens (Anthony Hopkins.) He serves the wealthy Lord Darlington (James Fox) an aristocrat with Nazi sympathies. However, Mr Stevens is determined to stay professional in all aspects of his life. This professionalism is gravely challenged with the appointment of the new housekeeper Miss Sally Kenton (Emma Thompson.) She is strong-willed and more than willing to challenge Mr Stevens on all aspects of his work.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I bloody hate period dramas. They're boring, tedious and focus on the problems of unrelatable characters. The Remains of the Day was no exception to this. And the unrelatability of the characters was its biggest weakness. Mr Stevens is a complete professional. He knows that his employer is a Nazi sympathiser, but he doesn't let that interfere with his work. He also develops feelings for Miss Kenton as does she for him. But again he refuses to let that interfere with his work. He is your archetypal British Keep Calm and Carry On character. And that's what made him very unrelatable and unlikeable.

By his very nature, he is a closed-off and unemotional character. Closed-off to his peers, his employer and to Miss Kenton, but also to the audience as well. How are we supposed to root for such an emotionally dead character? We were given so little to work with. Emma Thompson as Miss Kenton was far more engaging. Granted, she is supposed to be the polar opposite of Mr Stevens, but she was far more likeable. Mr Stevens was a cold fish and Miss Kenton was very warm.

Because I found it so difficult to sympathise with Mr Stevens, I found the main storyline very unengaging. I was far more interested in the film's setting: 1930's Britain in the run-up to World War Two. Lord Darlington is a diplomat with Nazi sympathies. He is hosting other German diplomats in the hopes of maintaining a peace at the chagrin of other guests such as the American Congressman Lewis (Christopher Reeve) who believes that Nazi Germany is a threat. This gave to a great dramatic tension that was far more interesting to watch.

Maybe if I didn't hate period dramas so much, I would have liked this film more, but I really did not enjoy it. 

Paprika review

Number 581 on the top 1000 films of all time is the Japanese animated sci-fi thriller Paprika.

Doctor Atsuko Chiba (Megumi Hayashibara) is a scientist working on the DC Mini - a device that allows her to view people's dreams. She uses this machine to help psychiatric patients by embracing her alter-ego of Paprika. One of these people is Detective Toshimi Konakawa (Akio Otsuka.) However, the DC Mini is then stolen by a dream terrorist.

This film was like if Christopher Nolan decided to make Inception as an anime. Surely, Paprika was as equally confusing and convoluted and complicated. I'm sure this was supposed to be the point, but I struggled in following the film. It jumped so often between dream and reality that I wasn't sure which was supposed to be which. And then when the dreams started bleeding through to the real world, all hope was lost for me. There's no denying it was a good concept though and the animation was great, but I really wasn't sure what I was supposed to be watching.

I think another problem was that Paprika felt very unfocussed. There weren't that many characters, but there also wasn't a clear protagonist. Paprika is supposed to be the main character - she is billed first in the credits, yet there was also considerable time spent on Detective Konakawa as well as other characters like Doctor Tokita who invented the DC Mini. It did give the film an uncertain tone. I also thought that the DC Mini was a strange name for a device like this. It kept make me thinking of a car that was made in the DC universe.

While slogging through this list, I have encountered many films that haven't personally been for me. I'm sure to anime-lovers this would be the 581st greatest film of all time. But I did not care for it at all.